Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things.other peoplethink that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your view.

In these
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These
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days, we can see so many
advertisements
everywhere,
everytime
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every time
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.
For example
, on the street,
advertisements
are shown from the building or at the bus stop and
also
in SNS, there is an algorithm function which recommends personalized
advertisements
for each person. So we are already exposed
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to in
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in
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an
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environment
with
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apply
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full of advertising.
This
essay will discuss
about
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apply
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the effect of advertising. On the one hand, some
people
think advertising has
successful
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a successful
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effect
for
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in
show examples
persuading
people
to buy
products
. When you
remind
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remember
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your buying process,
then
you can realize that most
of
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
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cases
are starting
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start
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from seeing the
advertisement
. After knowing a positive aspect of the product or getting
interest
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interested
show examples
to
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in
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the product through its advertising image or video,
then
we will search about it more and decide
to
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whether to
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buy or not. In my case, I had a skin problem to solve but didn'
t
search
about
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for
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related
products
deeply.
However
,
some
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one
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day, Instagram showed me a perfect
products
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product
show examples
advertisement
for my situation, so I bought it and I am still using it usefully. Through
this
, you can see advertising makes
customer
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customers
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buy things.
On the other hand
, some
people
think there are so many
advertisements
in
this
world and that makes us feel advertising is so common and
also
it doesn'
t
have a special power of making
people
concentrate on it. Sometimes, we can find
out
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apply
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proper
products
among lots of various
advertisements
, but
usually
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usually,
show examples
when we
meet
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see
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repetitive
advertisement
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advertisements
show examples
in
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on
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Youtube
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YouTube
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, we think "Ah, another
advertisement
again..." and just skip it. We don'
t
look that seriously. In conclusion, in
the
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a
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society with so many
advertisements
, there is a situation where
people
don'
t
have much interest in
advertisement
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advertisements
show examples
but
otherwise
, lots of
people
get
a helpful information
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helpful information
a piece of helpful information
show examples
and buy the
products
. I think the purpose of
existence
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the existence
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of
advertisement
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advertisements
show examples
is
making
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to make
show examples
people
to
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apply
show examples
buy and
this
aim is satisfied very well in our reality.
Submitted by starmino0113 on

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task response
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views and provides a clear opinion at the end. However, some sentences could be clearer and more concise.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Improve cohesion by using more transitional phrases and linking words.
coherence and cohesion
Use a formal tone throughout the essay. Avoid conversational phrases like 'In my case' and 'Ah, another advertisement again...' and replace them with formal alternatives.
task response
The essay provides relevant specific examples to support the points made, particularly the personal example about Instagram, which effectively illustrates the argument.
task response
Both viewpoints are discussed thoroughly and the conclusion effectively summarizes the essay while restating the author's opinion.
introduction and conclusion
The introduction effectively sets up the topic and the essay structure, making it clear what the reader can expect.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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