Many parents complain that computer games have no value to their children's studies. And, those online games have produced a lot of negative effects on their mental and physical development. What is your opinion on this?
The majority of the elderly, especially parents will agree that several drawbacks from computer
games
has
been affecting Change the verb form
have
children
, both mentally and physically. Although
this
one-sided opinion is considered as
a fact, I believe that computer Change preposition
apply
games
have its
own positive impact on Correct pronoun usage
their
children
that could be overlooked by certain people.
Firstly
, when children
play games
, whether its
conventional or computer-based Correct your spelling
it's
games
, the nature of the situation is always competitive yet challenging. They are facing many obstacles in order to unlock new level
and reach a higher score. By Fix the agreement mistake
levels
this
, children
are being pushed to think fast and be wise in decision making
, or else, they Add a hyphen
decision-making
lost
. Wrong verb form
lose
Hence
, children
who play games
for a long period of time are tend
to be more creative in solving Change the verb form
tend
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
problem
.
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
Secondly
, most of the games
that could
be found on the internet or Wrong verb form
can
game
Change preposition
in game
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
are using
Wrong verb form
use
english
as their Change the capitalization
English
based
language. They need to quickly understand the Replace the word
base
subtitle
and the Fix the agreement mistake
subtitles
instruction
of the game in order to play it comfortably. For Fix the agreement mistake
instructions
Add an article
the non-english
a non-english
non-english
Change the capitalization
non-English
speaker
, it helps them to understand Fix the agreement mistake
speakers
english
easier and faster Change the capitalization
English
compare
to Change the form of the verb
compared
who
are not familiar with computer Correct pronoun usage
those who
games
.
In conclusion, it is indeed impacting negatively on children
if they play games
too often as it could be somewhat addictive. However
, it is something that is
preventable. By limiting their screen time when playing games
, parents could arrange the rest of their time for something that seems more productive, such
as do
sports or talking with people. Everything always Wrong verb form
doing
have
two sides of the coin, so the parents are the Change the verb form
has
one
who Correct pronoun usage
ones
is
responsible Correct subject-verb agreement
are
on
overseeing the impact on Change preposition
for
children
.Submitted by dimasardana07 on
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task achievement
To enhance your task response, include more specific examples that illustrate your points. This will help to strengthen your argument and provide clearer evidence for your claims.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, work on the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and use linking words to connect ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could be corrected for a smoother read. Consider revising phrases like 'several drawbacks from computer games has been affecting children' to 'several drawbacks of computer games have been affecting children' to improve grammatical accuracy.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly presents the issue and states your opinion, making your stance clear from the beginning.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a reasonable solution for parents to manage their children's gaming time.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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