The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
It is claimed that the most significant aim of scientific
researches
ought to better Fix the agreement mistake
research
people
's healths
. In my opinion, I agree with Fix the agreement mistake
health
this
proposal since science can increase human’s
longevity and improve the Change noun form
human
environment
.
A good reason for this
perspective is that scientists have many technologies to rise
Verb problem
increase
people
's lifespan. Nowadays, there are a variety of machine
which Fix the agreement mistake
machines
is
invented to enhance Correct subject-verb agreement
are
human
body and make Add an article
the human
people
live longer. Some researchs
Correct your spelling
research
researchers
researches
have
shown that Correct subject-verb agreement
has
Correct article usage
the human's
human's
lifespan has Change noun form
human
increase
so much. In Change the verb form
increased
1600s
, it Change the article
the 1600s
is
believed that Wrong verb form
was
people
could only live until 60 years old. However
, thanks to the high-tech medical methods, people
now can live over 90 years old. For example
, people
in Japan are believed to have long lifespan
because of their diet, but mostly because of their technologies. Fix the agreement mistake
lifespans
Therefore
, it is sure that high-tech medical method
can help Fix the agreement mistake
methods
people
rise
their longevity.
Another reason to support Verb problem
increase
this
proposal is scientific technologies can improve the environment
, which makes individuals have a better life. It is the fact that pollution
is the main problem that negatively affect
Change the verb form
affects
people
’s lives. According to
many articles, there are thousands of people
dying because of things related to pollution
including air pollution
and water pollution
. These
Correct determiner usage
This
pollution
are main causes
of many serious diseases that harm Fix the agreement mistake
cause
people
like cancers. Fortunately, researchers have many methods which can be used to improve the environment
and protect people
's health. Nowadays, it is easily
to see Change the word
easy
a
eco-friendly things Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
such
as eco-friendly bag
or even machines that clean the air and water. Fix the agreement mistake
bags
Thus
, science can better the environment
in order to improve people
’s health.
In conclusion, the most important goal of science should be to improve individuals’ lives because of the increase in human’s
longevity and the development Change noun form
human
in
Change preposition
of
environment
.Add an article
the environment
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task response
Your essay responds to the task and covers both aspects of improving life expectancy and the environment. However, you should include more specific examples and evidence from your own knowledge or experience to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, some paragraphs could be better organized. Consider using linking words and phrases more effectively to improve the flow of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The transitions between your paragraphs and ideas need improvement. Try to make the connections between your points clearer.
task response
You have identified strong points in your response. However, you need to elaborate on your ideas and ensure that your arguments are well-developed and convincing.
task response
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, providing clear reasons to support the main idea.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is well-written and sets the context for the essay. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.
task response
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides relevant points to support the argument.