Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some believe that competing in different daily activities
such
as work
and school is a good sign, while
others think people should show more cooperation
rather than competition. This
essay will show that although
competition extracts the best performance from individuals, cooperation
increases their Productivity.
On one
hand, when people compete with each Correct article usage
the one
others
they always seek Change to a singular noun
other
for
success. Achieving Change preposition
apply
this
cannot be done without hardworking
in professional or academic life. When these individuals always Correct word choice
hard work
work
harder they will get the best copy of their personalities, and that what
most of the Add a missing verb
is what
profit making
companies Add a hyphen
profit-making
relay
on to increase their sales. Correct your spelling
rely
For instance
, Microsoft company gives their top selling
employees extra pay Add a hyphen
top-selling
comparing
with their Wrong verb form
compared
collegues
.Correct your spelling
colleagues
However
, I believe this
action will put huge
amount of pressure on employees, and sometimes Add an article
a huge
this
can lead to unethical competitions
.
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
On the other hand
, Cooperation
at work
or at school can make groups more productive. By giving each one the opportunity to share his or her ideas, projects or asignments
will be done in Correct your spelling
assignments
away
to Correct your spelling
a way
be
almost error-free. These days many companies and employers count on teamwork experiences to hire employees to build a friendly productive Wrong verb form
is
atmospher
.
In conclusion, despite the fact that Correct your spelling
atmosphere
by
competing with your Change preposition
apply
collegues
or opponent can build your character and show the best copy of yourself,Correct your spelling
colleagues
cooperation
can increase your giving ability by helping you to work
in a safe friendly environment and that what most reputable companies counts
on to increase their Change the verb form
count
revues
.
Correct your spelling
revenue
Ielts
score for Correct your spelling
IELTS
this
essaySubmitted by
on
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General
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could be improved for better readability.
Task Achievement
Work on providing more detailed and relevant examples to support your points. This will help to illustrate your arguments more effectively and provide a more convincing response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While the essay is generally coherent, some transitions could be improved to enhance the logical flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
You've included a balanced discussion of both views and expressed your own opinion clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both clear and well-defined, framing your essay effectively.
General
Your essay shows an understanding of the topic and the ability to discuss it from different perspectives.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.