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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks like now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks like now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
#floor #plan #library #years #summarise #information #features #comparisions
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The diagram illustrates the blueprint of
central
Add an article
the central
a central
show examples
 library and how it has changed after 20 years .
Overall
Linking Words
, there
are
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 considerable transformation over these years from a less attractive book
room
Use synonyms
 into the finest and
enjoyable
Correct quantifier usage
most enjoyable
show examples
 place to study. As we can see, 20 years ago,
less section
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer sections
show examples
 and entertainment were provided for the public to explore compared to the
new
Change the word
newly
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 renovated
oned
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, children's books have
being
Change the form of the verb
been
show examples
 relocated to the opposite side
whereas
Linking Words
previous
Correct article usage
the previous
show examples
 was a computer
room
Use synonyms
, meanwhile,
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
room
Use synonyms
had
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 replaced with a new lecture
room
Use synonyms
.
Suprisingly
Correct your spelling
Surprisingly
, two sofas and more
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 are added to
youngster's
Correct article usage
the youngster's
show examples
 section with
extended
Correct article usage
an extended
show examples
 size.
On
Change preposition
In
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 the middle parts of the library, only adult fiction books remained but
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 moved across the
room
Use synonyms
 to fill with new all reference books.
In addition
Linking Words
, a brand new information desk and self-service machines were placed
altogether
Replace the word
all together
show examples
 with
adult's
Change noun form
adult
show examples
 sections.
Lastly
Linking Words
, after the entrance of the library, there will be
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
room
Use synonyms
 on the left and
cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe
show examples
 shop on the right side that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been shown
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the second picture to relax and to do
reseach
Correct your spelling
research
.
Submitted by tifjong on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words room with synonyms.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • floor plan
  • public library
  • undergo changes
  • reading room
  • central area
  • digital resources
  • physical books
  • collections
  • children's section
  • multimedia room
  • cater to
  • diverse needs
  • study rooms
  • private study spaces
  • reception area
  • modernized
  • shelving units
  • open spaces
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