IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The maps below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The maps below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#maps #show #changes #place #west #park #school #construction #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The maps illustrate the transformation of West Park Secondary School
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1950 until 2010. As we can see, the initial blueprint shows that a small building of
academy
Correct article usage
the academy
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 was surrounded by housing
and
Correct word choice
apply
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open space farmland and
playground
Correct article usage
a playground
show examples
.
However
, after 30 years, many changes have
been occured
Wrong verb form
occurred
show examples
 which the houses have been removed and turned into car
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
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. Meanwhile, the school has been expanded
due to
 the
rises
Fix the agreement mistake
rise
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 population.
Not to mention
, the farmland has been modified into a sports field . Surprisingly,
recent
Add an article
the recent
show examples
 development of the area in 2010 has
descrided
Correct your spelling
described
 a major conversion on the parking lot which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been tripled
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the size to fit
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all the vehicles from the parents and the employed. As for the institution, nothing has been done but the sports field and the playground have been reduced in size.
Overall
, considering
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
increase
Change the verb form
increasing
show examples
 number of people in
such
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 have upgraded many
infrastucture
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 in a good way to make a better standard
living
Change preposition
of living
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the communities.
Submitted by tifjong on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • transformation
  • conversion
  • development
  • replace
  • initially
  • originally
  • expansion
  • reduction
  • infrastructure
  • modify
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