In some countries, children under 16 years old are not allowed to leave school by law and get full-time work . Is this a good or bad thing ? Discuss your opinion.
Owing to the issue which kids under 16 years are prohibited from leaving school by law and getting full-time
work
in some nations, leading to some communities think that it has inequality perspectives. I arguably assume that it is a pivotal policy by governments to reduce substantial problems in the future, which I commence my argument on in the following paragraphs.
One serious problem that can arise from stopping children
from education
matters before the legal age
can lead to imbalance behaviour. Additionally
, at that age
, according to
scientific journals, hormones in the brain certainly cannot process properly whether it is positives
or Fix the agreement mistake
positive
negatives
, in addressing adopting adult behaviour. Fix the agreement mistake
negative
For example
, it is challenging for children
at a young age
to work
with professionals who lack knowledge in a certain job because it requires high discipline and consistency. Also
, a high-potential danger device in a certain job should have assistance, which children
under age
cannot access, which is consequently
difficult to obtain for them.
In my opinion, children
under 16 years should study different curriculums to prepare them for higher levels of education
and to face crucial situations in the workforce. By creating a compulsory law to avoid further
circumstances, governments allow parents to not worry about this
issue by reducing education
fees from elementary to high school stages. In other words
, parents with low incomes should not force their children
to work
to help the family's finances. Presumably, I think it is a good decision from the authority
to implement the laws to not Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
allowed
pupils in Wrong verb form
allow
engaging
Verb problem
apply
advance
jobs to avoid potential issues which probably Replace the word
advanced
happens
in the long Correct subject-verb agreement
happen
terms
.
Fix the agreement mistake
term
To conclude
, there are various disadvantages which is
can cause non-beneficial effects for Unnecessary verb
apply
children
to work
instead
of school. Alternatively, avoiding labours
under Correct your spelling
labourers
ages
in Fix the agreement mistake
age
this
case is, by incorporating authoritiy
schemes to Correct your spelling
authority
authorities
fees-free
Correct article usage
a fees-free
on
Change preposition
apply
education
system is a wise solution for each parents
.Change to a singular noun
parent
Submitted by wulandarianggieta on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are clearly and logically organized. Some sentences are complex and difficult to understand. Simplify your language to enhance clarity.
Task Achievement
Provide more concrete examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
Language Accuracy
Refine your vocabulary and grammar. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrases that affect the readability of your essay.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear stance on the issue.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have utilized substantial ideas to support your argument and to illustrate the effects of the policy.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and contribute to the overall structure of the essay.