In some countries, children under 16 years old are not allowed to leave school by law and get full-time work . Is this a good or bad thing ? Discuss your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Owing to the issue which kids under 16 years are prohibited from leaving school by law and getting full-time

work

Use synonyms

in some nations, leading to some communities think that it has inequality perspectives. I arguably assume that it is a pivotal policy by governments to reduce substantial problems in the future, which I commence my argument on in the following paragraphs. One serious problem that can arise from stopping

children

Use synonyms

from

education

Use synonyms

matters before the legal

age

Use synonyms

can lead to imbalance behaviour.

Additionally

Linking Words

, at that

age

Use synonyms

according to

Linking Words

scientific journals, hormones in the brain certainly cannot process properly whether it is

positives

Fix the agreement mistake

positive

show examples

negatives

Fix the agreement mistake

negative

show examples

, in addressing adopting adult behaviour.

For example

Linking Words

, it is challenging for

children

Use synonyms

at a young

age

Use synonyms

work

Use synonyms

with professionals who lack knowledge in a certain job because it requires high discipline and consistency.

Also

Linking Words

, a high-potential danger device in a certain job should have assistance, which

children

Use synonyms

under

age

Use synonyms

cannot access, which is

consequently

Linking Words

difficult to obtain for them. In my opinion,

children

Use synonyms

under 16 years should study different curriculums to prepare them for higher levels of

education

Use synonyms

and to face crucial situations in the workforce. By creating a compulsory law to avoid

further

Linking Words

circumstances, governments allow parents to not worry about

this

Linking Words

issue by reducing

education

Use synonyms

fees from elementary to high school stages.

In other words

Linking Words

, parents with low incomes should not force their

children

Use synonyms

work

Use synonyms

to help the family's finances. Presumably, I think it is a good decision from the

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

show examples

to implement the laws to not

allowed

Wrong verb form

allow

show examples

pupils in

engaging

Verb problem

apply

show examples

advance

Replace the word

advanced

show examples

jobs to avoid potential issues which probably

happens

Correct subject-verb agreement

happen

show examples

in the long

terms

Fix the agreement mistake

term

show examples

To conclude

Linking Words

, there are various disadvantages which

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

can cause non-beneficial effects for

children

Use synonyms

work

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of school. Alternatively, avoiding

labours

Correct your spelling

labourers

show examples

under

ages

Fix the agreement mistake

age

show examples

this

Linking Words

case is, by incorporating

authoritiy

Correct your spelling

authority

authorities

schemes to

fees-free

Correct article usage

a fees-free

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

education

Use synonyms

system is a wise solution for each

parents

Change to a singular noun

parent

show examples

wulandarianggietaSat Jul 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that your ideas are clearly and logically organized. Some sentences are complex and difficult to understand. Simplify your language to enhance clarity.

Task Achievement

Provide more concrete examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.

Language Accuracy

Refine your vocabulary and grammar. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrases that affect the readability of your essay.

Task Achievement

The essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear stance on the issue.

Coherence & Cohesion

You have utilized substantial ideas to support your argument and to illustrate the effects of the policy.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present and contribute to the overall structure of the essay.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people think that schools should stop teaching students by using books, because students find them boring and that children can learn from films, TV, video games and computers instead. To what extent do you agree?
It is said that since children find reading books tedious, they should be replaced with the media - television, movies and computer games. In my opinion, this perspective can be reasonable, especially when considering its positive effects in terms of improving students' mood and performance.
6.5
band
You recently took a long-distance bus trip and were dissatisfied with the service. Write a letter of complaint to the bus company. In your letter: Describe the specific problems you encountered Explain how these problems affected your experience Say what you would like the company to do to make up for the issues Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.
I hope this letter finds you well.
7.5
band
Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Military supplies require human resources, most include the joining of youngsters, mainly males. Nevertheless, some countries are adopting the formation of males and females equally, there are a bunch of people who believe this could be tough-provoking due to freedom of expression and a waste of time. There is another part of the population who reckon the value of the army and the benefits who instil those institutions in personal integrity. In this essay, I will express the reasons I agree with would be a great idea that military service should be mandatory for all.
6
band
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People learn things better from those at their own level—such as fellow students or co-workers—than from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Adolescence is a time of rapid physical, emotional, and cognitive development. During adolescence, teenagers are exposed to a wealth of new and confusing changes that greatly impact their paths in life. The development that occurs during this time are highly influential and can create lasting effects. Changes that happen during adolescence include: physical changes, cognitive development, and new school environments.
6.5
band
Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
The allocation of funds for transportation infrastructure is a crucial decision that governments must make to facilitate the movement of people and goods efficiently. Some argue that prioritising investment in railways over roads is the more prudent approach. In this essay, I will present arguments in favour of spending money on railways and demonstrate that this strategy can yield substantial benefits for the nation.

In some countries, children under 16 years old are not allowed to leave school by law and get full-time work . Is this a good or bad thing ? Discuss your opinion.

Some people think that schools should stop teaching students by using books, because students find them boring and that children can learn from films, TV, video games and computers instead. To what extent do you agree?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People learn things better from those at their own level—such as fellow students or co-workers—than from those at a higher level, such as teachers or supervisors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?