In recent years many local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers to do their shopping. Is it a positive or negative development?

#years #shops #customers #travel #centers #development

Nowadays numerous

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

consider that department

stores

have bankrupted local

stores

Similarly

Add a comma

Similarly,

show examples

I agree

whit

Correct your spelling

with

show examples

this

assertion and

this

essay

examine

Change the verb form

examines

show examples

the reason why

this

is viable

according to

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. To start

whit

Correct your spelling

with

show examples

this

subject we should understand the reason why I believe that large

stores

are beneficial for improving life form.

To begin

whit

Correct your spelling

with

show examples

applying attractive methods

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

the most

convenience

Replace the word

convenient

show examples

concern . At present

people

are consuming

bunch

Add an article

a bunch

show examples

lastly

Change the adverb

last

show examples

goods

such

as kind of brands, new fashions, clothes and

variety

Correct article usage

a variety

show examples

of new foods . As

result

Correct article usage

a result

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

individual can

developed

Change the verb form

develop

show examples

their shopping style easily .

Beside

Replace the word

Besides

show examples

, enhancing

diversity

Add an article

the diversity

show examples

of goods is another matter which cannot be disregarded as well.

More over

Correct your spelling

Moreover

show examples

people

always like ,attractive

environment

Fix the agreement mistake

environments

show examples

like discounted

price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

show examples

,neat and clean

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

, variety in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

restaurant

Fix the agreement mistake

restaurants

show examples

, cafes ,

movie

Fix the agreement mistake

movies

show examples

elevator

Fix the agreement mistake

elevators

show examples

, escalators and beautiful

decoration

Fix the agreement mistake

decorations

show examples

Therefore

people

can enjoy shopping and entertainment at the same time .

thus

people

prefer to

Correct your spelling

show examples

shopping by central shopping.

For

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

an international newspaper published news that about 71% of the folk did their household

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

department shopping

Change preposition

apply

show examples

last

year .Adding that

further

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

,the researchers are indicating that big

stores

are more affordable

instead

of local

stores

Hence

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

are developing not only their buying but

also

entertainment methods.

Although

it is said that local

stores

might bring a few plus

point

Change to a plural noun

points

show examples

. Adding that saving time and being close distance

are

Change the verb form

show examples

a privilege for that.

To conclude

undoubtedly big

stores

provide

Remove the article

apply

show examples

plenty of positive

thing

Change to a plural noun

things

show examples

Thus

according

Add the preposition

show examples

their

comparison

Add a comma

comparison,

show examples

we realize that removing one of them is normal and predictable .

Thus

I assume that every public is improving their way of shopping currently

Submitted by aksoysana on Sat Jul 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the task, but some points are general and could be more developed with specific examples. Try to incorporate data, statistics, or real-life instances to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear logical structure by organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a main point, supported by explanations and examples. This improves clarity and flow.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. Improve clarity by using conjunctions and transitions effectively. For example, phrases like 'to start with' or 'moreover' can help guide the reader through your argument.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion in your essay which frames your argument well.

task achievement

Your attempt to use various examples and reasons to support your opinion is appreciated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

16Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

economic decline
job losses
stimulate the economy
consumer convenience
under one roof
lower prices
erode local culture
unique character
carbon emissions
sustainable lifestyle
community hubs
social interactions
community spirit
local engagement
food courts
entertainment areas

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinino? What sort of punishments should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children.
Some people believe that children should learn to distinguish right from wrong in their early years and punishment can be used in the process. I tend to disagree with the idea. I think that punishing them in early childhood to teach morality aspects is something wrong, but also it is a waste of time and may have negative effects on children with relevant reasons and examples.
7
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
There is a growing concern relating to the target and purpose of the government’s progress. Some of the opinion think that the economic contribution is more important and should be highlighted within the institutions. However, others argue that other progress like the human development index is as important as the former statement. This essay agrees more with the latter stance, as people’s prosperity and safety have to be maintained.
6
band
Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?
It can be observed around the world that well-known figures including models and singers are making greater income than those in legislative service in their country. This disparity can be explained by their distinctive sources of income, and in my opinion it is a completely negative development.
6.5
band
Poor people and those living in the rural areas find it difficult to acess university education. University should make it easy for persons from this background . To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Some people believe that universities should lower their enrollment requirements for poor citizens living in rural areas and wanting to access to university education. In my opinion, I slightly disagree with this notion and the reasons will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching my conclusion.
8
band
You went to another city for a training course and stayed at a friend's house for a week. They have been great hosts. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, thank them for having you at their house for a week express your gratitude for their hospitality say how much you miss them Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear .................,
Hello how are you , l stayed at your place for a week for my studies and it was amazing, l am very grateful to you.

In recent years many local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers to do their shopping. Is it a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinino? What sort of punishments should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Poor people and those living in the rural areas find it difficult to acess university education. University should make it easy for persons from this background . To what extent do you agree or disagree.