In recent years many local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers to do their shopping. Is it a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays numerous
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
consider that department
stores
have bankrupted local
stores
.
Similarly
Add a comma
Similarly,
show examples
I agree
whit
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
this
assertion and
this
essay
examine
Change the verb form
examines
show examples
the reason why
this
is viable
according to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. To start
whit
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
this
subject we should understand the reason why I believe that large
stores
are beneficial for improving life form.
To begin
whit
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
applying attractive methods
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
the most
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
concern . At present
people
are consuming
bunch
Add an article
a bunch
show examples
of
lastly
Change the adverb
last
show examples
goods
such
as kind of brands, new fashions, clothes and
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
of new foods . As
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individual can
developed
Change the verb form
develop
show examples
their shopping style easily .
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
, enhancing
diversity
Add an article
the diversity
show examples
of goods is another matter which cannot be disregarded as well.
More over
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
,
people
always like ,attractive
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
like discounted
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
,neat and clean
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
, variety in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
, cafes ,
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
,
elevator
Fix the agreement mistake
elevators
show examples
, escalators and beautiful
decoration
Fix the agreement mistake
decorations
show examples
.
Therefore
people
can enjoy shopping and entertainment at the same time .
thus
people
prefer to
do
Correct your spelling
go
show examples
shopping by central shopping.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
an international newspaper published news that about 71% of the folk did their household
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
department shopping
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
year .Adding that
further
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
,the researchers are indicating that big
stores
are more affordable
instead
of local
stores
.
Hence
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
are developing not only their buying but
also
entertainment methods.
Although
it is said that local
stores
might bring a few plus
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
. Adding that saving time and being close distance
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a privilege for that.
To conclude
undoubtedly big
stores
provide
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of positive
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
.
Thus
according
Add the preposition
to
show examples
their
comparison
Add a comma
comparison,
show examples
we realize that removing one of them is normal and predictable .
Thus
I assume that every public is improving their way of shopping currently
Submitted by aksoysana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay addresses the task, but some points are general and could be more developed with specific examples. Try to incorporate data, statistics, or real-life instances to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear logical structure by organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a main point, supported by explanations and examples. This improves clarity and flow.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. Improve clarity by using conjunctions and transitions effectively. For example, phrases like 'to start with' or 'moreover' can help guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion in your essay which frames your argument well.
task achievement
Your attempt to use various examples and reasons to support your opinion is appreciated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic decline
  • job losses
  • stimulate the economy
  • consumer convenience
  • under one roof
  • lower prices
  • erode local culture
  • unique character
  • carbon emissions
  • sustainable lifestyle
  • community hubs
  • social interactions
  • community spirit
  • local engagement
  • food courts
  • entertainment areas
What to do next:
Look at other essays: