While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.
In recent times, an increasing number of
people
are going to study for their degrees, while
more and more people
argue that they should be energized to do vocational traing
Correct your spelling
training
due to
the lack of qualified laborers
: electricians and plumbers. I completely disagree with Change the spelling
labourers
this
statement.
One of primary
benefits of academic study is career advancement. Add an article
the primary
People
can access better jobs, high
salaries, and enhance their growth Correct word choice
and high
due to
their academic levels. For example
, in
Change preposition
apply
the
certain Correct article usage
apply
degree
, Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
such
as doctors, programmers, and scientists, which are the degree that provides
a wider range of employment opportunities and Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
also
earning
high incomes. Once, they get a better job and good income, they can support their familyWrong verb form
earn
one
' financially. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Furthermore
, they are able to improve their living standard and financial stability for their further
lives.
Correct word choice
future
In addition
, people
who have a higher degree can help society and country
transformation. For instance
, in developing countries like Cambodia, where they need many sources of intelligent and talented people
to develop the country
. For
this
reason, more and more people
should be encouraged to educate academically. Additionally
, when people
are fully educated, poverty in the country
also
decreases, which also
improves the GDP overall
.
In conclusion, I firmly disagree with the statement that said
more Verb problem
apply
people
should be encouraged to do vocational training. I would advocate that people
should have higher education, not only improve
their career and financial gains, Fix the infinitive
to improve
however
, Correct word choice
but
there
are Correct pronoun usage
they
beneficial
for society and Rephrase
also beneficial
country
development.Submitted by Date
on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, which is a positive aspect. However, you should strengthen your argument by addressing potential counterarguments and providing a more balanced view. Additionally, try to elaborate more on the importance of vocational training and its role in society to make your response more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some points need clearer connections. Consider using more cohesive devices (e.g., 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', 'In contrast') to link your ideas more effectively and ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.
structure
Your essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well. The structure you’ve used is effective in organizing your thoughts.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples, such as the development needs of Cambodia and career opportunities in fields like medicine and programming, which help support your argument.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.