IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

Health services are one of the important necessities in
people
Use synonyms
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. Meanwhile, many private companies increase the cost of
Use synonyms
medicine
Replace the word
medical
show examples
 services for ordinary
people
Use synonyms
 who do not earn much
money
Use synonyms
. Private
clinics
Use synonyms
presents
Correct subject-verb agreement
present
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 both advantages and disadvantages
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 I believe that the benefits generally surpass the drawbacks. One significant reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 private
clinics
Use synonyms
 is that they
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
offer a great service. Private companies pay a lot
attention
Change preposition
of attention
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 to their service. They are trying to improve it every year.
People
Use synonyms
 like private
clinics
Use synonyms
 as they
always
Verb problem
are always
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 respectful to their clients. Another major reason is that in the private
medicine
Use synonyms
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
centers
Punctuation problem
centers,
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 it is easier to go to the doctor rather than the government
clinics
Use synonyms
. Private
clinics
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 provide
flexible
Correct article usage
a flexible
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 schedule
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 waiting times are usually shorter.
In addition
Linking Words
, in the private
medicine
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
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 are a lot of doctors from countries that are ranked in
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 places in
Use synonyms
medicine
Replace the word
the medical
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 sphere.
People
Use synonyms
more believe
Correct word order
believe more
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for
Change preposition
in
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 specialists
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 study
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
abroad or come from there, as they are professionals to cure their illnesses.
For example
Linking Words
, in the private
clinic
Add a comma
clinic,
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 a patient can see a doctor the next day,
while
Linking Words
 in
public
Correct article usage
a public
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 clinic it takes from several days to weeks. 
However
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, they are
also
Linking Words
 potential drawbacks to consider. One significant concern is that many analyses cost
much
Fix the agreement mistake
a lot of
show examples
money
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 these can
offer
Wrong verb form
be offered
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 government
clinics
Use synonyms
. The public
medicine
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society with basic analyses for free.
Also
Linking Words
, private
clinics
Use synonyms
focuses
Correct subject-verb agreement
focus
show examples
 on earning more
money
Use synonyms
 so their doctors can write
not necessity
Use the right word
unnecessary
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 procedures that
people
Use synonyms
 have to do.
People
Use synonyms
 who are far away from
medicine
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 would think
that
Linking Words
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
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 important and waste their
money
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the treatment in the private clinic
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 expensive
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it means that many
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 cannot pay the cost of treatment.  In conclusion, even though private
clinics
Use synonyms
 have more tests and spend a lot of
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 treatment, I personally think that the advantages,
such
Linking Words
 as client services and doctors from abroad, outweigh the disadvantages.

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task response
To gain a higher band, state a clear view in the opening and end with a crisp summary that repeats your view.
coherence and cohesion
Make the flow more smooth. Use easy links like first, also, but, however, for example.
content
The essay tries to cover both sides of the topic.
content
Some good reasons and examples are used.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cutting-edge technology
  • highly skilled professionals
  • patient experience
  • outcomes
  • personalized care
  • healthcare practitioners
  • competition
  • standards
  • government burden
  • public funds
  • prohibitively expensive
  • disparities
  • profitability
  • over-treatment
  • neglect
  • non-profitable cases
  • ethical concerns
  • financial status
What to do next:
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