Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

#health #services #necessity #companies #individuals #care

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Medical services are

fundamental

Change preposition

of fundamental

show examples

importance.

However

Linking Words

, private medical

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

set a bit

expensive

Change preposition

of expensive

show examples

prices for everyday people. Since private medical cares provide well-educated

doctors

Use synonyms

, the advantages of

this

Linking Words

outweigh the disadvantages. There are more well-educated

doctors

Use synonyms

in commercial businesses. Since commercial medical services hire

doctors

Use synonyms

who have good university degrees and practical experiences, they

make

Verb problem

are

show examples

quite pricey than regular

hospitals

Use synonyms

. To be more clear, there is more possibility of

patients

Use synonyms

getting well, because of the most accurate diagnosis.

For instance

Linking Words

, many

patients

Use synonyms

suffer from

their

Change the word

the

show examples

wrong treatment plans and results

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, because

poor-educated

Correct your spelling

educated

show examples

specialists give

wrong

Change the article

the wrong

show examples

diagnosis

Fix the agreement mistake

diagnoses

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

their

patients

Use synonyms

Consequently

Linking Words

, there are more

doctors

Use synonyms

who have more knowledge and experience in private

hospitals

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, commercial health cares give modern technologies

for

Change preposition

show examples

patients

Use synonyms

in order to get incredible results. As a rule, it is common that public

hospitals

Use synonyms

have problems with the lack of good

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

, and it is difficult to realize the problem.

For instance

Linking Words

, some dentists hurt

patients

Use synonyms

, since their

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

outmoded in regular health

cares

Fix the agreement mistake

care

show examples

As a consequence

Linking Words

, there might be the most modern technologies in private medical

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

To sum up

Linking Words

, private

hospitals

Use synonyms

provide modern

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

and educated

doctors

Use synonyms

for

patients

Use synonyms

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Sat Jul 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples

Try to include more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your ideas are generally clear, but some sentences could be more precise. Ensure every sentence contributes directly to your argument.

complete response

Aim for a more balanced discussion, considering both advantages and disadvantages in more detail.

logical structure

Ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs for better coherence and cohesion.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

supported main points

You have clearly mentioned the advantages of private medical care and provided reasons for them.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

197 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

cutting-edge technology
highly skilled professionals
patient experience
outcomes
personalized care
healthcare practitioners
competition
standards
government burden
public funds
prohibitively expensive
disparities
profitability
over-treatment
neglect
non-profitable cases
ethical concerns
financial status

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The 21st century has witnessed some extraordinary technological breakthroughs, like the internet and computers, which have become an essential part of our lives. As these advancements are now cheaper and more accessible than ever, there is a general consensus among working professionals as well as students to work, and study remotely. I strongly believe that this recent trend is a step in a positive direction and provides various benefits.
7.5
band
As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. What are the causes of this trend and what are the effects on society？
There is a growing tendency to live in small family units or individually as countries develop.From my perspective, the phenomenon may be caused by the growth of daily expenditures and the changing public attitudes towards life.However, it will grow both personal and social burdens.
4.5
band
Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antartic. What are benefits or disadvantages for tourists visiting such places?
Recently, the number of tourists who are coming to places where surroundings are challenging has increased, especially hot and cold places such as the Sahara Desert and the North Pole, the Antarctic. The benefits of this travel are to explore, get an impression of nature, and see breathtaking scenery. Being under danger and the limitation of supplies are the drawbacks. It is becoming more and more popular to visit uncommon places among the tourists because a great deal of them are interested in exploring, want to see a beautiful view, and also take impressions about the environment. Why do travel numbers grow up year by year? Even all the scenery passed through social media is not pleasurable, and they do not provide feelings such as adrenalin and a feeling of nature. Another case is to try to surround as well as to learn what technologies can help a place based on ad condition. For example, a person i...
7
band
Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. To what extent do you agree with this view?
The world that we live in today is dominated by advertising. Adverts are on television, on the World Wide Web, in the street and even on our mobile phones. However, many of the strategies used to sell a product or service can be considered immoral or unacceptable.
6
band
Writing task 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about going to college or trying to get a job. You think he should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter . Tell me why he doesn't like going to college . Explain why the job is right for him . Offer him suitable jobs Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to enter any address. Start your letter like this: Dear...
I have a piece of advice for you. You shouldn't go to college. Because it is a very good idea to graduate from college and get a job. You do not like going to college. Because there are teachers in the college. And they are hard handed. You do not like them. There are teachers who are unfair to you. Then you do not like the time of classes in college because the class is long. Then you do not like your college kids either. You always walk alone. That is why you need to get a job.

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

Your opinion

As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. What are the causes of this trend and what are the effects on society？

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antartic. What are benefits or disadvantages for tourists visiting such places?

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. To what extent do you agree with this view?