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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table describes the changes of people who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005. (million). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table describes the changes of people who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005. (million). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given table illustrates the changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 people who visited for overseas travel in 1990, 1995, 2000, and 2005 in five areas: Africa, America, Asia and the
pacifc
Correct your spelling
Pacific
, Europe, and
Use synonyms
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
 East.
Overall
Linking Words
, four areas, namely, Africa, Asia and the
pacific
Capitalize word
Pacific
show examples
, Europe, and
Use synonyms
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
 East
were
Verb problem
showed
show examples
 an upward trend,
whereas
Linking Words
 America increased in the first few years but
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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declined in 2005.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Euroup
Correct your spelling
Europe
 had the highest figure in the given
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peroid
Correct your spelling
period
,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
 East was the lowest compared to other areas. The total rose over the period. As can be seen, in 1990, Europe had the largest
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
 in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of international travel
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
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 for 280.2, before increasing to 390.3 in 1995, and
then
Linking Words
 jumping to 393.2 and 400.2 in 2000 and 2005. Africa,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Asia and the
pacific
Capitalize word
Pacific
show examples
 witnessed the growth, with the former rising from 18.2 in 1990 to 20.8 and
countinued
Correct your spelling
continued
 increasing to 26.9 and 28.7, and the latter from 60.2 in 1990 to 80.2 and
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
show examples
 to 117.4 and 135.8 in 2000 and 2005, respectively.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
 East experienced the lowest since 1990, at 9.8, before increasing to 15.8 in 2005.
By contrast
Linking Words
, America witnessed an increasing trend
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1990 to 2000 from 80.5 to 118.2,
however
Linking Words
, it slightly dropped in 2005,
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 113.2.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words middle with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • International travel
  • Million
  • Trend
  • Gradual rise
  • Significant jump
  • Technological advancements
  • Increased affluence
  • Globalization
  • Rate of increase
  • Low-cost airlines
  • Ease of travel
  • Tourism promotion
  • Regional differences
  • Cultural exchange
  • Economic impact
  • Environmental concerns
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