IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the results survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
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The given diagram describes the consumers’ drinking and buying caffeine beverages pattern in five cities in Australia, in three categories:
coffee
Use synonyms
 shops
visiting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
, buying instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 and buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks.
Overall
Linking Words
, most people prefer to go to a café for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea,
while
Linking Words
 buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 is the least popular option.
Moreover
Linking Words
, residents from
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 account for the highest proportion in all three categories. In terms of visiting a
coffee
Use synonyms
 shop for a caffeinated drink, a majority of
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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 from
Melbourne
Use synonyms
, Sydney and Hobart enjoy the activity, recording approximately 62%, followed by Brisbane with slightly above 55%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, residents from Adelaide visited a café in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks the least, with less than 50% recorded. Moving to
buying
Change the verb form
buy
show examples
 instant
coffee
Use synonyms
, the figures for Hobart, Adelaide and Brisbane were almost 60%, around 52% and exactly 50% respectively. Meanwhile, less than 50% of consumers from
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 and Sydney purchased
such
Linking Words
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
, fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 was only bought by 40 to 45% of the population from Sydney and
Melbourne
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 that of Hobart was approximately 37%.
In addition
Linking Words
, below 35% was the percentage of residents in Brisbane and Adelaide
chose
Correct pronoun usage
who chose
show examples
 to purchase fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, melbourne with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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