Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that some people think that the
state
should pay in full for the courses of a student who wants to study at the university. Now people are beginning to realize that that paying for university studies is a difficult issue. Some believe that the government should pay for tuition in full to make it accessible to everyone. This
could help many students get an education
and a good job. Personaly
, I tend to think that every person should pay for his Correct your spelling
Personally
education
.
Firstly
, it is well known that that
it can help with financial aid. What I mean here is that There are many families in the world who cannot teach themselves Remove the redundancy
apply
due to
lack of money, these
poor families try to ask for money from governments. Correct word choice
and these
Moreover
the Add a comma
Moreover,
state
must take a decision to solve the problem, look at the level of poverty of this
family and help with money at the same level.
But there is another point of view. Paying for all the tuition can put a huge strain on a country's budget, which could lead to higher taxes or cuts to other important services. Therefore
, people are looking for ways to make education
accessible without creating major financial problems. That is
to say
the Add a comma
say,
state
starts paying for a student’s entire education
, this
could lead to a low level of statistics. One of them is due to
the fact that they will be paid for, students will not see what is important in their studies due to
the fact that the state
paid
.
In conclusion, Full tuition coverage can be costly and demotivate students. It is better to use partial funding or assistance to those in need.Wrong verb form
pays
Submitted by dnm.best on
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task achievement
Ensure your main points are clearly supported with strong examples. Currently, some examples are general and don't provide enough support for your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between your ideas. Smooth transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs can enhance the coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Remove any repeated phrases such as 'that that' to increase clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easier to follow your argument.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the prompt, addressing both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Each paragraph discusses a different point of view, showing your ability to consider multiple perspectives.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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