IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What can be done to solve this problem?

#production #consumer #goods #results #damage #environment
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It cannot be denied that the increase in the
production
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 of
consumer
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goods
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 harms the natural environment. Only when both individuals and the
government
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 are aware of natural environmental
protection
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 can
this
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 problem be solved. I shall explain particular solutions in more detail in
this
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 essay. First of all, the
government
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 must inspect
production
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processes
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 at factories and make sure that they follow environmental
protection
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 regulations. If they are illegal, they must be punished seriously to prevent illicit
production
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processes
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as well as
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 to protect the natural surroundings. To illustrate, in developed countries,
such
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 as the US, the
government
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 manages factories strictly, so it leads to less pollution. Opposite, in India where the lack of the
government
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's control
production
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processes
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 has caused significant natural environmental pollution.
Secondly
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, in terms of individuals, reusing
consumer
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goods
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 plays a vital role in the
protection
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 of natural habitats because it can reduce shopping demand and lead to a decrease in the number of
consumer
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goods
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 productions. On top of that, people should choose environmentally friendly products. Not only can
this
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 protect natural settings but
also
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 their health. To illustrate, In my country, people use banana leaves to pack food
instead
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 of plastic boxes. Leave is easier to disintegrate than plastic.
Moreover
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, Plastic
also
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 contains some chemicals which harm the environment and people's health. In conclusion, the development in the
production
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 of
consumer
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goods
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 results in damage to the natural environment to solve
this
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 problem the
government
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 can inspect
production
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processes
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 in factories to make sure that they follow environmental
protection
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 regulations, and individuals can reuse
consumer
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 products and choose environmentally friendly
consumer
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goods
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 to reduce the number of produced
consumer
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goods
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,
finally
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, contribute significantly to protect natural settings.
Submitted by writingeilts on

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task achievement
Consider refining the introduction to include a clearer thesis statement. This will help frame your arguments more explicitly from the outset.
coherence cohesion
Work on smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs for better coherence. This will make your argument flow more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Check for occasional minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to enhance the clarity of your writing.
task achievement
You have clearly articulated the problems and proposed practical solutions, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant and specific examples, which strongly support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are well-presented, contributing to the overall structure and coherence of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • production
  • consumer goods
  • natural environment
  • damage
  • causes
  • overconsumption
  • demand
  • environmental regulations
  • enforcement
  • natural resources
  • industrial pollution
  • waste
  • inadequate
  • waste management practices
  • public awareness
  • education
  • sustainable alternatives
  • stricter environmental laws
  • recycling
  • responsible consumption
  • clean technologies
  • renewable energy
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