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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks like now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks like now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
#floor #plan #library #years #summarise #information #features #comparisions
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The diagram illustrates the floor plan of
central
Add an article
the central
show examples
 library 20 years ago and
how
Correct word choice
what
show examples
 it looks like today.
Overall
Linking Words
, every location of rooms and
furnitures
Change the wording
furniture
types of furniture
pieces of furniture
items of furniture
show examples
 was changed. Tables and chairs were removed from the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the library and a new cafe was built. The
room
Use synonyms
 where people can watch videos and use computers was moved to the under-left corner
room
Use synonyms
.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the space where
computer
Correct article usage
the computer
show examples
room
Use synonyms
 was located in the past,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
room
Use synonyms
 for children's
fictions
Change the noun form
fiction
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books
Use synonyms
 and storytelling events was made.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are two sofas in
this
Linking Words
room
Use synonyms
.
Up-right
Add an article
The up-right
show examples
 corner
room
Use synonyms
 is the lecture
room
Use synonyms
 and when you go out of
here
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
, there is an adult fiction
books
Use synonyms
 corner,
information
Correct article usage
an information
show examples
 desk and self-service machines.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the under-right side, there was an enquiry desk but now
cafe
Correct article usage
the cafe
show examples
came
Wrong verb form
has come
show examples
 in and
citzens
Correct your spelling
citizens
 can see all
reference
Correct article usage
the reference
show examples
books
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the space where adult fiction
books
Use synonyms
 were located
before
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by starmino0113 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words room, books with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • floor plan
  • public library
  • undergo changes
  • reading room
  • central area
  • digital resources
  • physical books
  • collections
  • children's section
  • multimedia room
  • cater to
  • diverse needs
  • study rooms
  • private study spaces
  • reception area
  • modernized
  • shelving units
  • open spaces
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