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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Teachers are not as important as they used to be because of the choice of other alternatives for students, such as online teaching. To what extent to do you agree of disagree?

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In today's era , some individuals think that
tutors
Use synonyms
are not have
Change the verb form
do not have
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
too much importance as compared to the past time . The reason behind
Correct pronoun usage
this
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is that
students
Use synonyms
 have
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 ways to do
studies
Use synonyms
 with the advent of online teaching . I disagree with the given statement to a great extent . I will explain my
view points
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
 in the upcoming paragraphs
along with
Linking Words
 the conclusion . Why
teachers
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 are still prominent in schools and colleges ? One of the main reasons behind
is
Correct pronoun usage
this is
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that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 importance of
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
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 conversation . To clarify
this
Linking Words
 ,
while
Linking Words
 doing
studies
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
classroom
Add an article
the classroom
a classroom
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 with the mentors ,
students
Use synonyms
 have an opportunity to discuss their doubts in person .
However
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 , they do not have
this
Linking Words
 facility through online
studies
Use synonyms
 .
For example
Linking Words
 :- An article published in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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"The Times" stated that more than 80% of the
students
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 have
got
Verb problem
apply
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success in their board examination by doing
studies
Use synonyms
 with the
teachers
Use synonyms
 in the
classroom
Use synonyms
 .
The another
Remove the article
Another
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 reason is that Discipline . To make it simple ,
Tutors
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 not only
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 the
students
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 in their exams, but they
also
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 play a crucial role in maintaining
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
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 and regulations in the
school
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 curriculum ,
this
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 thing
help
Change the verb form
helps
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to get
Verb problem
them
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achievement
Replace the word
achieve
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 in their
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further
Correct word choice
future
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
Hence
Linking Words
 , above mentioned facts explain the value of
tutors
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 in the
classroom
Use synonyms
instead
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 of online
studies
Use synonyms
. On the other side , In
this
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 present time , their other
such
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 ways through which
students
Use synonyms
 can do their
studies
Use synonyms
 without the help of
teachers
Use synonyms
 in the
classroom
Use synonyms
 .
Firstly
Linking Words
 ,
though
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
teachers
Use synonyms
 are crucial for
students
Use synonyms
, nowadays. they can do their
studies
Use synonyms
 through online
platform
Change the noun form
platforms
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
You Tube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
 and Zoom. With the help of these
app
Fix the agreement mistake
apps
show examples
Use synonyms
school going
Add a hyphen
school-going
show examples
 children can
Use synonyms
studies
Replace the word
study
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 effectively
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
 of the availability of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
audio
as well as
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videos
Change the noun form
video
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 facilities .
Apart from
Linking Words
this
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 , through E-books
students
Use synonyms
 can
usage
Replace the word
use
show examples
 their time in
Correct article usage
an efficiently
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efficiently
Change the adverb
efficient
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 manner
while
Linking Words
 they are outside their
school
Use synonyms
 areas .
However
Linking Words
 , they can read things online on phone
app
Fix the agreement mistake
apps
show examples
 by
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
travelling as well .
Thus
Linking Words
 ,
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 explained reasons
also
Linking Words
 show the value of online teaching in the
school
Use synonyms
 areas . In conclusion , though
students
Use synonyms
 can do best in their
studies
Use synonyms
 without the presence of
tutors
Use synonyms
 but the still
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online teaching can
not
Rephrase
still
show examples
 take
Correct article usage
the places
show examples
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
 of
teachers
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 classrooms .

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grammar
Try to reduce the number of minor grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms and inconsistent use of articles and prepositions.
vocabulary
Enhance the complexity of your sentence structures. Using a variety of complex and compound sentences will improve the sophistication of your essay.
coherence
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your supporting points directly relate to it. This can enhance coherence and cohesion.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is essential for good writing clarity.
examples
You have provided relevant specific examples, such as the article from 'The Times', to support your points. This helps to strengthen your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological revolution
  • access to information
  • self-learning
  • personalized learning paths
  • learning styles
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • traditional classrooms
  • flexibility
  • online education
  • commitments
  • social skills
  • emotional intelligence
  • mentorship
  • support
  • blended learning
  • guiding
  • facilitating
  • enhancing
  • quality of education
  • inspire and motivate
  • holistic educational experience
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