IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governmemts. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages

#countries #people #population #governmemts #society
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Some countries have many elderly
people
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, some
people
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 think that will be an issue for governments.
While
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 others think that will be benefits when the
country
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 has many old
people
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having an ageing
population
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 in the
country
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. On the one hand, there are many advantages of having
apply
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to apply
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elderly
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to elderly
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people
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. First of all, the nation will have more experience in a lot of things,
such
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 as sports, art and marketing.
For example
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, in Kuwait we have a lot of football players in the past we took
the
Correct article usage
apply
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instruction from them, like Bader Almotawaa.
Moreover
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, when the governments have many old
people
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, the
country
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 will have more jobs for the eldest
people
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. It is
also
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 important to highlight that, if we have elderly the education will be better
,
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apply
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because
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because of
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 their experience.
On the other hand
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, there are some bad effects when the
country
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 has an ageing
population
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. One of the bad effects
,
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apply
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 is there will be more traffic in the city.
For example
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, China has many elderly
people
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, but the China government handle
with
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apply
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the ageing
population
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.
Moreover
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, they will cause health problems.
For instance
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, high blood pressure and sometimes obesity.
Furthermore
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, when the elderly feel lonely and sad that could be a disaster for the
country
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.
To sum up
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,
it is clear that
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 the ageing
population
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 have advantages and disadvantages for
the
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apply
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governments and
apply
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applied
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 nations. I believe that the old
people
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 always have good effects on the
country
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.
Submitted by joudaalhammadi on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the main points are well developed and supported.
task achievement
Be mindful of grammar and punctuation errors to enhance clarity and readability.
task achievement
Provide more relevant examples and elaborate on them to strengthen your argument.
content
The essay provides a good discussion of both advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population.
structure
The structure of the essay, with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, is well-organized.
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