“Nowadays children are undisciplined because their parents are busy with their career.” To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What could parents do to build a sense of discipline among children?
Undoubtedly, children are tender buds of society and they are required to be taught the true values of life by their
parents
. Nevertheless
, due to
the impact of the busy lifestyle of the modern era where mostly mother and father both are working for their lifepaths, offsprings are becoming undisciplined. I personally have the same viewpoint and will further
elaborate on solutions for parents
to get rid of this
trouble.
One prominent factor for this
could be the poor work-life management of family members who do not have enough time
to stay and spend with young ones at home
and instead
a lot of their whole time
completing their household chores and professional work. Consequently
, kids
do not have the support of guardians to know the difference between good and bad behaviour. To illustrate this
, these days juveniles play alone at home
the whole day or even a whole week without supervision and do not get a chance to learn about basic etiquette during their day out in public they misbehave with others due to
their lack of tendency to know about differences between good and bad as they were never scolded by parents
at home
while
doing bad things.
Adding further
, the overdependence
of Correct your spelling
over-dependence
kids
at home
on techno-savvy devices instead
of going outside in parks and playgrounds in their leisure time
is becoming the reason behind undisciplined behaviour as most parents
do not have time
to roam around with children. As a result
, they are tied to materialistic things at home
and they prioritize themselves only. For instance
, a growing child ,
plays most of the Remove the comma
apply
time
with robotic toys who
do not have any emotions or feelings, Correct pronoun usage
that
thus
it adversely leads to physical and mental consequences by making a child unethical.
Nonetheless
, to tackle this
issue , one approach is to provide awareness among parents
about teaching their kids
the true values of life. The government should organize some camps at workplaces to spread techniques about time
management. As a result
, all working and career-oriented parents
can take
help by getting knowledge of these skills , which gives them extra Verb problem
get
time
to spend with kids
at home
.
In conclusion, although
working on career goals is most urgent for family heads to provide basic needs to their family members, they should focus on the upbringing of their offspring. Therefore
, I believe that taking the right initiatives to ensure making kids
are well-behaved and organized members of society can be fully beneficial.Submitted by BUTTAR on
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows smoothly to the next one. Consider using transitional phrases to link ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure to your response.
task achievement
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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