You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Now a days
the percentage of Correct the word
Nowadays
seniors
has been
increased, so some Unnecessary verb
apply
people
think that new
generation of elderly Correct article usage
the new
maintaining
Wrong verb form
maintain
a
good Remove the article
apply
health
comparing
to previous generations, Change the form of the verb
compared
while
other
believe that Fix the agreement mistake
others
new
lifestyle will produce Correct article usage
the new
seniors
with bad health
who will need more care
, this
essay will discusee
both sides and will draw my Correct your spelling
discuss
perosnal
conclusion.
On Correct your spelling
personal
one
hand, the easy access to Correct article usage
the one
Add an article
a gym
the gym
gym
, rehabilitation Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
centers
and spas Change the spelling
centres
help
old Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
people
to take care
of the them self
, Correct pronoun usage
themselves
especialy
if they are providing offers to Correct your spelling
especially
seniors
. For example
, some resorts will give employee's parent
free access and the resort Fix the agreement mistake
parents
it self
will provide a Correct your spelling
itself
health
care
worker to take care
of them, thats
why some think that providing services which help Correct your spelling
that's
elderly
to maintain good Correct article usage
the elderly
health
, will deacrease
the pressure on family members Correct your spelling
decrease
hence
, it improve
quality of Change the verb form
improves
sociaty
.
Correct your spelling
society
On the other hand
, Correct article usage
an increase
increase
number of Replace the word
increased
seniors
consuming junk food and having Correct your spelling
sedentary
sedantary
lifestyle can affect in a bad way on their Correct article usage
a sedantary
health
, for illustration some people
used to eat from outside instead
of cocking or consuming healthy food, at the same time they will do less physical activity ,by the time they will get old , they will develop seriouse
diseases compare to others , Correct your spelling
serious
Hence
,the
believe thatCorrect your spelling
they
,
the modern lifestyle can influence badly on the Remove the comma
apply
health
of old people
and this
will cuase
numerous medical problems, so they will need more Correct your spelling
cause
care
In conclusion , after carful
analysis of both points Correct your spelling
careful
view
. I believe that elderly Change preposition
of view
people
in this
century are able to take care
of them self
, especially with the presence of good facilities, Correct your spelling
themself
themselves
this
led to less burden on the society.Submitted by meajaberi on
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task achievement
Make sure to fully develop both sides of the argument with equal depth and detail. Your essay focused more on one side, which can affect balance and depth of analysis.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving logical structure and flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use clear and effective transitions to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Avoid common grammatical errors and typos. It’s essential to proofread your essay to eliminate mistakes like 'discuss', 'personal', 'themselves', and 'society'.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes both an introduction and conclusion, which clearly states your personal view. This provides a clear framework for the reader.
task achievement
You provided some specific examples to support your points. This helps in demonstrating the rationale behind your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.