Band-9 Samples: In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Promotion of
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
and services is a vital part of industries, nowadays. Businesses try to attract consumers
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
their
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
by showing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that the
product
is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
updated version.
This
phenomenon has some pros and cons, which will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, to introduce new stuff in the market, help people to choose the best
product
. It
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
them to stay updated with the services or to
upgarde
Correct your spelling
upgrade
the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
they already have. As in the modern era, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of gadgets and devices which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
imortant
Correct your spelling
important
to stay connected with others or to save some
man power
Correct your spelling
manpower
show examples
. And for those products, everyone needs to know about the upgraded versions. Not only the electronic gadgets
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but the consumable
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
or medicines
also
get updated in terms of their better manufacturing or packaging which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
them more
nutricinal
Correct your spelling
nutritional
or
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
,
such
products
also
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
to
be introduce
Change the verb form
be introduced
show examples
through advertising.
On the other hand
, it is not always a good idea to blindly trust
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the promotional comments by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
businesses.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
new versions of
Add an article
the product
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
can be better, it needs to be
check
Wrong verb form
checked
show examples
if it
worth
Add a missing verb
is worth
show examples
it to spend money on them. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
product
is performing well,
hence
it is not a good deal to spend money on the same with few upgrades. To
examplify
Correct your spelling
explain
, if someone
got
Verb problem
has
show examples
a smartphone which is just a year old version and working in a
well
Change the adverb
good
show examples
condition, it is not worth it to spend again just for a bit of new features. In compendium,
this
phenomenon acts like a
two sided
Add a hyphen
two-sided
show examples
sword, positive and negative aspects should be considered. As mentioned
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
above, to show off the
product
as the latest in some ways it can be helpful to
upgarde
Correct your spelling
upgrade
or disaster to make the current one
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a waste.
Submitted by pavithooda1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Improve grammatical accuracy and vocabulary range to clearly convey ideas.
task achievement
Ensure all points are sufficiently developed with clear examples.
coherence cohesion
Enhance cohesion between sentences and paragraphs for better flow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly supports the main argument.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument.
task achievement
The effort to present a balanced viewpoint is evident.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • cutting-edge
  • state-of-the-art
  • modern
  • latest trends
  • competitive edge
  • rejuvenate
  • boost sales
  • consumer excitement
  • brand image
  • saturated market
  • distinguish
  • buzz
  • engagement
  • highlighting updates
  • attracting customers
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!