IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #harbour #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given diagrams illustrate how a harbour transformed after some developments in 2000.
Overall
, the harbour witnessed radical changes with the most noticeable being the addition of various facilities. In 2000, there was a main road in the West that led to the car park areas;
while
 one was located in front of the showers and toilets in the Northwest, the other was constructed in the Southwest, next to the fishing boats. In the East of the showers and toilets area is the Marina which was a private yacht. In the Southeast of the harbour, a disused castle was erected. Nearby was the public beach which was directly opposite the lifeboat. A dock was built on the Southern side, leading passengers to the ferries. Nowadays, there is the addition of more kinds of facilities to enhance the travel experience of passengers. There is another showers and toilets place
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 constructed behind the parking lots in the Southwest. In the West of the lifeboat, cafes and shops were erected. The fishing boats and marina
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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swapped the locations with each other.
While
 the castle in the Southeast was replaced by a hotel, the public beach in the South was converted into a private for the hotel. Another dock was built in the North as the increase of the number of passengers. Other facilities like carpark and
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grammar
Make sure to double-check for minor grammatical errors that can affect clarity, such as 'a disused castle was erected'. It should be 'there was a disused castle' as it indicates existence rather than an action in the past.
phrasing
While you provided a good amount of detail, some sentences were run-ons. Break them up into shorter sentences for better readability, such as 'The fishing boats and marina were swapped the locations with each other' which can be rephrased for clarity.
organization
Be careful with the flow of information. Ensure that each part of the description logically follows from the previous one to create a coherent narrative. For instance, the mention of the marina and the fishing boats swapping locations should be logically connected to the rest of the paragraph.
content
You included many details from the diagrams, which shows a clear understanding of the task.
task completion
There is a good attempt to provide a comparison between the harbour in 2000 and today, which meets one of the key requirements of the task.
cohesion
The use of various connectors such as 'while' and 'nowadays' demonstrates an effort to create cohesion in your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • harbour (or harbor)
  • docks
  • shipping lanes
  • warehouses
  • recreational areas
  • infrastructure
  • additions
  • removals
  • facilities
  • environmental sustainability
  • economic impact
  • local community
  • capacity
  • technological advancements
  • industrial shipping
  • recreational use
  • surrounding infrastructure
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