IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below. You should write at least 150 words. Writing task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below. You should write at least 150 words. Writing task 1
#minutes #show #household #expenditures #country #report #university #lecturer #information
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The pie charts depict information on how families spent their
money
Use synonyms
 in a particular state between 1950 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, in 1950, the maximum cash was spent on housing,
whereas
Linking Words
 in 2010, the maximum
amount
Use synonyms
 was spent on food.
To begin
Linking Words
 with ,in 1950, a large
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 was spent on housing accounting for 72.2%. The cash used in food and education was 11.2% and 6.6% in 1950 respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, 4.4% and 3.3% of the
money
Use synonyms
 was spent on other facilities and transportation,
while
Linking Words
 in 1950, the lowest
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 was spent on health care .
Conversely
Linking Words
, in 2010 , families spent most of their
money
Use synonyms
 on eating items amounting to 34.0% . A significant
amount
Use synonyms
 of currency was
also
Linking Words
 used by people on housing accounting for 22.0% in 2010. Families spent approximately 19.2% and 14% of their
money
Use synonyms
 on other amenities and health care respectively. About 6.3 % of cash was used on education.
Finally
Linking Words
 , in 2010 the minimum
amount
Use synonyms
 spent on transportation was about 4.5%.
Submitted by mianraza686 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words money, amount with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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