IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #harbour #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The maps illustrate information about the development of the
harbor
Change the spelling
harbour
show examples
 over a 20-year period from 2000 to 2024.
Overall
, it appears that the
harbor
Change the spelling
harbour
show examples
 has become a much more modern city, with far more shopping and transport facilities.
Furthermore
, there have been significant changes in infrastructure, hotels, and routes. In 2000, there was only one
road
 leading from the main
road
 to the
harbor
Change the spelling
harbour
show examples
. On the right side, there were showers and toilets
as well as
 a car park, which have remained unchanged until now. There was one dock in the northern area, allowing only two boats to anchor at the same time.
Besides
this
, there was a public beach, which remains in the same condition today. In the southern area, there was a car park, which had one
road
 from the
Road
, an unused castle, and public beaches. In 2024, the hotel replaced the castle in the south, and the
Road
 was enlarged into a hotel. After that, new Cafes and shops have been constructed near the Lifeboat. Showers and toilets have been erected near the place of keep marina
that is
 converted into fishing boats.
Submitted by pooriyarashidi6 on

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clarity
While the essay is generally clear, there are some areas that could benefit from more precise language and specific examples. For instance, the mention of 'public beaches' could be clearer if connected to specific changes or lack thereof.
coherence
The phrase 'After that, new Cafes and shops have been constructed near the Lifeboat' is somewhat disconnected. Linking this change more clearly to the overall transformation would improve readability.
grammar
There are some small grammatical errors and awkward phrasings (e.g., 'the Road was enlarged into a hotel'). Careful proofreading and revision would polish the essay further.
organization
The development of the harbor could be described in a more structured way, for example, by dividing the description into sections for each main area (e.g., northern, southern).
introduction
The introduction is clear and provides a good overview of the main changes in the harbor.
specific examples
The essay does a good job of noting specific changes, such as the replacement of the castle with a hotel.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • harbour (or harbor)
  • docks
  • shipping lanes
  • warehouses
  • recreational areas
  • infrastructure
  • additions
  • removals
  • facilities
  • environmental sustainability
  • economic impact
  • local community
  • capacity
  • technological advancements
  • industrial shipping
  • recreational use
  • surrounding infrastructure
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