IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The widespread use of the Internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the web ? What solution can you suggest ?

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Due to
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 advancements in technology,
Internet
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the Internet
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 has become a crucial part of society.
However
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 ,numerous turbulences have been brought to the world
due to
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 the
use
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 increasing significantly.In
this
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 essay,I will elaborate on its drawbacks and possible solutions. Nowadays,
people
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 have become more reliable on
theInternet
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the Internet
 as compared to the past and relationships have become superficial
as a result
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 of easy communication.Lack of depth in emotional relationships has taken place rather than strong bonds between
people
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.
Moreover
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, it enhances monotonous lifestyles rather than social life.
For instance
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,
people
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 always prefer virtual meetings and it
demotivatespeople
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demotivates people
 to be less active in society.
Furthermore
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,there are proliferating chances of mental illnesses
due to
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 the
use
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 plenty of social media websites that influence
people
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 and instil wrong beliefs in them. To solve
this
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,there are myriad ways are available
such
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 as
people
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Wrong verb form
using
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use
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 their time in leisure
activities
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 like painting,drawing and swimming
it
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which
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 not only
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
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 their physical health but
also
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prove
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proves
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 to beneficial for their mental well-being.
For example
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,nowadays prominent personalities are taking care of themselves by engaging them in
activities
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 like Yoga and Meditation.Another important aspect is taken by authorities to spread awareness by providing awareness camps.Parents can
decimatethe
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decrease
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the
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use
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 of webs
in
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by
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 their children by promoting various sports
activities
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 which are helpful not only in their career growth but
also
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overall
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 well-being.
To sum up
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,It is
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the responsibilities
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responsibilities
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responsibility
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of everyone to avoid too much
use
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 of
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the webs
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webs
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web
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 by making some
efforts
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effort
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 and engaging themselves in diverse
activities
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 which are better for their health.It is
also
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 crucial for guardians to take care of their children
while
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 allowing them
such
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 a web or avoid
use
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 by providing various leisure
activities
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.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity, ensure each paragraph expresses a single main idea. This can be achieved by using topic sentences that clearly indicate what the paragraph will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Carefully proofread your essay for minor errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar. This can significantly improve the readability and overall quality of the text.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively by providing relevant examples and explanations. This can help in fully conveying your points to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Structure your essay with a clear and concise introduction, body paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea, and a strong conclusion that ties everything together.
task achievement
Expand upon your suggestions by providing specific, real-world examples. This can lend more credibility and persuasiveness to your proposed solutions.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear understanding of the topic and addresses the problems associated with the widespread use of the Internet.
task achievement
Good attempt to suggest solutions to the problems identified, such as engaging in leisure activities and promoting sports.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • widespread use
  • main problems
  • associated with
  • cybercrime
  • hacking
  • privacy
  • data security
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • addiction
  • excessive screen time
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • online scams
  • fraud
  • loss of productivity
  • impersonal communication
  • social isolation
  • digital divide
  • solutions
  • suggest
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