The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#film #industry #influence #world #governments #duty #money #industries #cultures

The dominant

film

industry in the world is

American

. Some

people

see

this

Correct your spelling

show examples

a bad thing and think that governments should invest money in their

film

industries to protect and develop their

culture

. I would agree with

this

to an extent

however

also

think there are advantages to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

American

films

. The problem with

American

films

is the

culture

there is in them. Many

people

see

American

films

and want to act in the same

way

and look the same as the stars. Many

people

have the same

American

values and

want

Add the particle

want to

show examples

wear the same clothes.

This

is a problem because

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some traditional values and customs are

losing

Wrong verb form

lost

show examples

in different countries. Sometimes

American

studios make movies about other

countrys

Change noun form

countrys'

country's

show examples

history and they change the stories. That

way

young

people

believe them and forget their real history and

culture

For

this

reason

Add a comma

reason,

show examples

some

people

say that governments should invest money in

film

industries in their country.

This

means that

people

can see traditional values and

culture

and not only

American

On the other hand

American

films

are seen by

people

all over the world. The

film

studios have very much money that they use to make spectacle

films

. The

films

look amazing on screen and

wacthing

Correct your spelling

watching

them is a

way

escape

Wrong verb form

escaping

show examples

from your life for a short time.

Furthermore

, many

people

get exposed to English through

American

films

and it can help

people

learn. In conclusion, I think that there are some advantages to Hollywood

films

. They are amazing to see in cinemas and exciting for everybody. But,

films

are a good

way

for keeping

Change preposition

to keep

show examples

culture

and it is good for

people

to see different

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

films

Submitted by drcamt on Sun Jul 21 2024

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The introduction clearly states your position and previews the main points of the essay, which is a strong start.

coherence cohesion

You have logically structured your essay with paragraphs dedicated to specific points, making it easy to follow your argument.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your main arguments and restates your position, which helps to provide a cohesive ending.

Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Americanisation
Cultural imperialism
Local cinema
Cultural diversity
Cultural homogenization
Film subsidies
National identity
Artistic expression
Blockbusters
Cultural preservation

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