IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#britain #someone #home #people #nurses #government #care
In a nation like Britain,senior citizens are living in retirement homes,where wellness nurses and caregivers are there to support them with their daily tasks.In my opinion,the
authorities
 are completely responsible for the expenses of old people and my supporting viewpoints are mentioned in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with, the government should pay for the retired individuals's costs in the nursing home rather than their family members.First and foremost, the Britain
authorities
 are taking taxes from each and every individual
while
 they are working,
therefore
 it is a legal responsibility of higher
authorities
 to take over the expenses of senior people.To elaborate,if a person is giving nearly 10-15% of shares from his salary to the government
then
 he can expect to get help during his retired life.
For example
, a recent study conducted in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed countries noted that old humans are getting enough help from the local government because their citizens are paying taxes to help the country's economy.
Thus
, every citizen should depend on the
authorities
.
Submitted by pp6859 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion
Make sure to have a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points. The essay now reads more like an introduction and body paragraph base.
relevant specific examples
Work on providing more detailed examples that directly support your points. This adds more weight to your arguments.
complete response
Dedicate a paragraph to counter-arguments and refute them to strengthen your stance further.
introduction conclusion
The introduction is clear and sets the context effectively.
clear comprehensive ideas
The idea of the government being responsible for elderly care due to tax contributions is well articulated.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aging population
  • Elderly care
  • Nursing homes
  • Social welfare
  • Intergenerational responsibility
  • Caregiving
  • Financial burden
  • Quality of life
  • Pension funds
  • Healthcare policy
  • Taxation
  • Subsidies
  • Private insurance
  • Long-term care
  • Sustainability
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!