Some people think that young people should follow traditions of the society. While other people think that young people should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
As we move into the twenty-first century in
this
modernization, everyone has the right to live their life
according to
their values and beliefs, though it is debated by several people that following regional customs is imperative, this
essay will shed light on both the given views and also
the valid point to be in favor
with the later view.
First of all, it is commonly believed that freedom is equal to individualism. Change the spelling
favour
However
, these are both different concepts according to
the research data. It is accepted that humans have only one life
to live so they can spend according to
their terms and conditions. Thus
, thousands of people do so, and it helps to reduce unnecessary burdens in life
, but the younger generation takes advantage in an inappropriate way that can ruin their lives. For example
in Japan, 70 year old is bullied by friends, saying that he is obsolete and cannot hang out with them because he leaves with his parents at young age and that boy committed suicide after that.
On the other hand
, conservatism has people to be committed to the root values of tradition. In other words
, it is crucial to be resilient and adapt with time but connection
with the spiritual and customs representative as a confident person state. Replace the word
connect
For instance
, the famous billionaire Bill Gates states on a national elevation that spirituality and persistence are the keys to success, and no one should forget, from where they come.
In conclusion, according to
me, living life
with a lot of freedom is important but not more than our true beliefs and ethics. Acceptance of core values and own tradition is a sign of insightful character.Submitted by pateldhruvi038 on
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task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more fully. For instance, when you talk about the misuse of freedom by the younger generation, provide more specific examples or elaborate further to make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Ensure that all parts of your essay are equally developed. Some parts feel more detailed than others, which can cause imbalance in your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Review the structure of your argumentative points. Sometimes they seem to be slightly disjointed. Try to create a more seamless flow between paragraphs by linking ideas.
introduction
Your introduction is clear and outlines the topic well, and you have a good grasp of the debate.
conclusion
You provide a strong conclusion that reinforces your main argument.
task achievement
You use relevant examples to support your ideas, which strengthens your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?