Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #museums #places #purpose

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There is an ongoing debate involving the purpose of

museums

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While

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some

people

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think

museums

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are a place

that

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where

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everyone can enjoy themselves, I believe the primary purpose of

museums

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should be education. On the one hand, some

people

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think

museums

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are places entertaining

visitors

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because they are viewed as the primary local attractions by

visitors

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. Local

museums

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will hold a lot of activities or exhibitions to attract more tourists.

For example

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, the Chinese Science

Museum

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often holds interesting experiments, attracting children and their parents to

playing

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play

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While

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museum

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

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provide

visitors

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with enjoyable

experience

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experiences

show examples

by holding fascinating events, the main purpose of

museums

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is to encourage

people

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to learn more about history and science.

For instance

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, the employee of

museums

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teaches chemical

knowledge

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students

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by showing the element

exhibits

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As a result

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students

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will be attracted by

exhibits

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and deeply understand relevant

knowledge

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On the other hand

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museums

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primarily play

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show examples

important role in education.

Firstly

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museums

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can help

students

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comprehensively understand the relevant

knowledge

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because the

exhibits

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museums

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can help

student

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the student

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visualize their

knowledge

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For example

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student

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students

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know dinosaurs are big from textbooks, but they do not know how big they are in real life.

As a result

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, the fossils in

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museum

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museums

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can present the real size of dinosaurs for them.

Furthermore

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museum

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the museum

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is a primary channel to promote local history and culture by showing relevant

exhibits

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to the public. Many

museums

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often

hires

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hire

show examples

professional guides to describe the background story about

exhibits

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, supporting

visitors

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to deeply understand local history and culture. In conclusion,

while

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museums

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entertains

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entertain

show examples

people

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by holding a lot of interesting activities, I think that

museums

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primarily aim to educate,

such

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as educating

students

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and culture promotion.

Submitted by dingjc867328784 on Mon Jul 22 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay would benefit from a clearer organization and transition between ideas. Try to make the structure more apparent by summarizing the main points at the beginning and end of the essay. Additionally, work on refining paragraph transitions to enhance the flow of ideas.

Task Response

Although you make relevant points, your arguments would be stronger with more detailed examples and clearer elaboration. Ensure all examples are directly tied to the point you're making.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider rechecking your language usage and sentence structure. There are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings that may detract from the overall clarity of your essay.

Task Response

Your essay addresses both views on the purpose of museums and gives a clear personal opinion, fulfilling the task requirement well.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and reinforces your opinion, which helps to frame the discussion coherently.

Task Response

You provide examples that are relevant to your arguments, which helps to illustrate your points.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, fast food restaurants and supermarket is going money to schools to promote their products. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many counties are investing in new technology to deal with public. Why is this happening? Do you think it is an appropriate use of government money?

Should the government support artist, such as musicians, writers, and painters? Is it economically beneficial or is it just a waste of money? Why or why not?

One problem faced by almost every large city is traffic congestion. What do you think the causes are? What solutions can you suggest?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?