IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives.

#people #parents #decisions #lives
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Parents have an influence on their teenage
decisions
Use synonyms
specially
Replace the word
especially
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 when they are young .
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 think
level
Add an article
the level
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 of influence has decreased over
years
Correct article usage
the years
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 and
current
Correct article usage
the current
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 time population of children
more
Add a missing verb
is more
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 independent when making
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a decision
decisions
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decisions
Use synonyms
 . I will explain in
this
Linking Words
 essay that
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 completely agree that children are better in the past.
First
Correct article usage
The first
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reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
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 is teenagers
has
Change the verb form
have
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 more
decisions
Use synonyms
 to expose
worldwide
Change preposition
to worldwide
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 because we have
fast speed
Add a hyphen
fast-speed
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of
Change preposition
apply
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internet that young
people
Use synonyms
 can access
to
Change preposition
apply
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information that
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 would like to
known
Change the verb
know
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.
For example
Linking Words
 ,
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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 online ,
Correct word choice
and learn
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learn
Wrong verb form
learning
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 new languages , we can compare
in
Change preposition
to
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 the past parents have influenced
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
childrens
Change to a genitive case
children's
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decisions
Use synonyms
what
Change preposition
about what
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 they want young
people
Use synonyms
 to be .
For instance
Linking Words
,
Doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
Doctors
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, teachers and engineering but now young
people
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
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 more
independent
Replace the word
independence
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to choose
Change preposition
in choosing
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 what
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 want to be
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
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 have more experience
form
Correct your spelling
from
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 different
people
Use synonyms
 around the world that
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can learn from
Add an article
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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. The second thought I would like to point out is that globalization and easy ways of transportation have helped young
people
Use synonyms
 to change their mindset about life. Let me illustrate
this
Linking Words
 with an example, when my parents were young it was not easy to travel to different countries because ways of transport were not as developed and fast as nowadays.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they were not exposed to different cultures and backgrounds.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, my generation can travel
further
Linking Words
 distances and different countries by planes, and trains. To summarize, I agree that nowadays young
people
Use synonyms
 are better able to make
decisions
Use synonyms
 about their own lives than in the past. As I mentioned before exposure to the Internet and new transportation ways has helped them to acquire and be exposed to different information that they take into consideration when they want to
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 a decision.
Submitted by viewsoysoongnern on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss in your essay. This will provide a clear roadmap for your reader.
task achievement
Use varied sentence structures and vocabulary to make your writing more engaging and sophisticated. This can elevate the overall quality of your writing.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and concise conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively.
task achievement
The use of personal examples and contemporary issues adds relevance and supports your argument well.
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