Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives.
Parents have an influence on their teenage
decisions
specially
when they are young . Replace the word
especially
However
Add a comma
However,
i
think Change the capitalization
I
level
of influence has decreased over Add an article
the level
years
and Correct article usage
the years
current
time population of children Correct article usage
the current
more
independent when making Add a missing verb
is more
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a decision
decisions
decisions
. I will explain in this
essay that i
completely agree that children are better in the past.
Change the capitalization
I
First
Correct article usage
The first
reasons
is teenagers Fix the agreement mistake
reason
has
more Change the verb form
have
decisions
to expose worldwide
because we have Change preposition
to worldwide
fast speed
Add a hyphen
fast-speed
of
internet that young Change preposition
apply
people
can access to
information that Change preposition
apply
their
would like to Correct pronoun usage
they
known
. Change the verb
know
For example
, study
online , Wrong verb form
studying
Correct word choice
and learn
learn
new languages , we can compare Wrong verb form
learning
in
the past parents have influenced Change preposition
to
to
Change preposition
apply
childrens
Change to a genitive case
children's
decisions
what
they want young Change preposition
about what
people
to be . For instance
, Doctor
, teachers and engineering but now young Fix the agreement mistake
Doctors
people
has
more Change the verb form
have
independent
Replace the word
independence
to choose
what Change preposition
in choosing
you
want to be Correct pronoun usage
they
also
have more experience Correct word choice
and also
form
different Correct your spelling
from
people
around the world that their
can learn from Correct pronoun usage
they
Add an article
the internet
internet
.
The second thought I would like to point out is that globalization and easy ways of transportation have helped young Capitalize word
Internet
people
to change their mindset about life. Let me illustrate this
with an example, when my parents were young it was not easy to travel to different countries because ways of transport were not as developed and fast as nowadays. Therefore
, they were not exposed to different cultures and backgrounds. On the other hand
, my generation can travel further
distances and different countries by planes, and trains.
To summarize, I agree that nowadays young people
are better able to make decisions
about their own lives than in the past. As I mentioned before exposure to the Internet and new transportation ways has helped them to acquire and be exposed to different information that they take into consideration when they want to take
a decision.Correct your spelling
make
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss in your essay. This will provide a clear roadmap for your reader.
task achievement
Use varied sentence structures and vocabulary to make your writing more engaging and sophisticated. This can elevate the overall quality of your writing.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and concise conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively.
task achievement
The use of personal examples and contemporary issues adds relevance and supports your argument well.