IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
 bar chart illustrates the total number of trips made by
children
Use synonyms
 in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using various kinds of transport. There are 5 transportations:
car
Use synonyms
 passenger, walking, cycling, walking and
bus
Use synonyms
, and only
bus
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
 in 1990, most of the
children
Use synonyms
 went
to
Change preposition
on to
show examples
 trip only by walk. More than 12
million
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
 walked to and from school.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 in 2010, around 11
million
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
 went
to trip
Change preposition
on trips
show examples
 by
car
Use synonyms
. In 1990, walking was the most popular way to travel and using
bus
Use synonyms
, cycling, walking and
bus
Use synonyms
, and
car
Use synonyms
 followed orderly. The figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 moving by
car
Use synonyms
 was only
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 bit more than 4
million
Use synonyms
 which recorded the lowest in 1990 statistics.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the number of trips
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 in 2010 was the highest.
In addition
Linking Words
, walking,
bus
Use synonyms
, walking and
bus
Use synonyms
, and cycling followed next. Only 2
million
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
 went
to
Change preposition
on to
show examples
 trip by cycling in 2010 which is shown the lowest in
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
 graph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words children, car, bus, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • trips
  • children
  • modes of transport
  • walk
  • cycle
  • public transport
  • drive
  • car
  • trends
  • decrease
  • increase
  • shift
  • convenient
  • comfortable
  • commuting
  • traffic congestion
  • safety concerns
  • significant
  • indicate
  • reasons
  • traffic congestion
  • safety concerns
  • 20-year period
  • doubled
  • considerable margin
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