Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some argue that horizontal
sports
should be banned by governments, others believe that there is freedom for everyone to play any sports
or activities they like. In my point of view, I would argue that all individuals have the right to play any sports
or activity and I would disagree Fix the agreement mistake
sport
on
the aspect of banning dangerous Change preposition
with
sports
.
First and foremost, for
those who feel that dangerous Change preposition
apply
sports
should be restricted to play, such
as ice skiing, boxing, and jumping. These activities can lead to severe injuries and fatalities, increasing
injury can impact several sectors, especially in Correct word choice
and increasing
healthcare
service. The burden on the healthcare
system, diminishing
the quality of Wrong verb form
diminishes
healthcare
service that is
provided to patients due to
a limitation of facilities and laborers
. Once the rates of patients decrease, hospitals can maintain the service more efficiently.
Change the spelling
labourers
However
, whether a restriction of dangerous sports
provides benefits, I would argue that all individuals have the right to choose their own choices and activities. Once they have freedom
to choose, it allows people to enhance their mental resilience. Add an article
the freedom
For instance
, boxing, which
is the sport that helps people Correct pronoun usage
apply
to
maintain their mental stability Verb problem
apply
while
they are facing a risky circumstance like a thief. Therefore
, they can protect themselves and deal with it. Furthermore
, there is benefit
in economic growth. Correct article usage
a benefit
For example
, bullfighting in Spain, which
is a cultural sport. Correct pronoun usage
apply
This
extreme sport can increase tourists in the country and improve local economies.
In conclusion, although
it is true that banning dangerous sports
has benefits in healthcare
services, I firmly believe that personal freedom is paramount, such
as mental resilience and economic growth.Submitted by Date
on
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task achievement
Ensure precise and accurate terminology. For example, instead of 'horizontal sports,' consider using 'extreme sports' or 'dangerous activities.'
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence variety to avoid repetitive structures. This will enhance readability and engage the reader more effectively.
task achievement
Enhance the discussion by including counter-arguments and addressing them to provide a more balanced perspective.
task achievement
You have effectively presented both views on the topic and given your opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
Providing examples like boxing and bullfighting effectively illustrate your points and make your arguments more persuasive.
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