In the future all cars, buses, and trucks will be driveless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

In
this
newly industrialized world, products are improved to the best level,
one
Correct word choice
and one
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of the necessary of them is
automobile
Add an article
the automobile
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industry . We can see all cars and buses non-automatic
are change
Change the verb form
are changed
are changing
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to
driveless
Correct your spelling
drive less
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.
This
technology
,
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apply
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has some positive and negative points. In my view, the drawbacks are
grater
Correct your spelling
greater
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than
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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. In
this
essay, both pros and cons will be discussed in the following
paragraps
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paragraphs
paragraph
. On the one hand, it has some positive points .
Initially
, when the vehicles become
driveless
Correct your spelling
driverless
show examples
, at first it has some
grate
Correct your spelling
great
show examples
points for drivers.
In other words
, they can do
Submitted by rezvanmansoori388 on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your ideas. The essay touches upon some points but lacks depth. Provide specific examples and details to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on the introduction and conclusion to make them stronger and more compelling. Your introduction should clearly outline the essay's purpose and the conclusion should summarize your main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
There are some grammar and vocabulary issues that need attention. Ensure that you proofread your essay or use grammar-checking tools to improve accuracy.
coherence cohesion
Break down the essay into more coherent paragraphs, each dedicated to a specific point or idea. This will help in creating a logical structure that is easier to follow.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear topic and purpose in the introduction, which provides a basic framework for the points you intend to discuss.
task achievement
You have attempted to address both the advantages and disadvantages, which is important for a balanced discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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