IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

: Some people think that every human being can create art (e.g. music, paintings, poetry), while others believe that they need to have special skill. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #art #e #g #music #paintings #poetry #skill
At least a quarter of our current population
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 debated
Correct word choice
whether a
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 creation of
art
being or
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 not
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
available for everyone.
While
ones
Replace the word
one
show examples
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
show examples
its
Correct your spelling
it has
show examples
 pivoted into human nature others highly doubt it by
refering
Correct your spelling
referring
 to
need
Correct article usage
the need
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 special skills and talent, but who is right? Human evolution has been through its long journey and is still in our days.So is the
art
 which normality
change
Correct subject-verb agreement
changes
show examples
 very frequently, from the early
begginings
Correct your spelling
beginning
almostly
Correct your spelling
almost
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 times of our
first ever
Add a hyphen
first-ever
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 ancestors
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art
 or more
specificaly
Correct your spelling
specifically
 paintings were used to discuss their plans of hunting at that
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 anyone could have drawn anything which we might call now
art
 but,through the evolution i mentioned before humans started to develop a different styles and qualities in their works. The criteria of real
art
 became higher and more unique which we call nowadays
art
, as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time passes they all change fast and understanding of
art
became
Wrong verb form
becomes
show examples
 different. It is understandable why people are still confused
of
Change the preposition
about
show examples
 what is
art
 because of sudden changes in its
understandings
Fix the agreement mistake
understanding
show examples
,
this
 is why I agree with
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 fact
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
art
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 in need of special skills to
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
.
Submitted by momokani on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction could be clearer. Provide a clear thesis statement indicating your stance on the topic, which helps guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Develop your paragraphs with clear main points and supporting evidence. Each paragraph should have a single main idea that is well-supported.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the one before. Using transition words can help improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Be mindful of grammar and spelling errors. Proofread your essay to identify and correct mistakes, such as 'begginings' (should be 'beginnings') and 'almostly' (not a correct word).
task achievement
Use more specific examples and evidence to support your points. For instance, you could mention famous artists who were self-taught versus those who received formal training.
coherence cohesion
Conclude your essay with a summary of your main points and restate your opinion clearly. This helps reinforce your argument.
task achievement
Your essay touches on both views of the argument, showcasing a balanced approach.
task achievement
You provided some historical context about art, which adds depth to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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