Some people think that governments should spend as much money as possible on developing or buying computer technology. Other people disagree and think that this money should be spent on more basic needs. Which one of these opinions do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.
In the cutting-edge era, most people have the viewpoint that the higher authorities of every nation should consider innovative
technology
as a top priority Use synonyms
while
making a budget for their Linking Words
country
, Use synonyms
however
, Linking Words
according to
opponents' perspective, expenditures on the primary necessities of life are required to be higher. I have the same point of view with the latter opinion which I will Linking Words
further
elaborate on in Linking Words
this
essay.
The paramount reason to be taken into consideration for spending funds on rudimentary needs is that the development of every Linking Words
country
depends upon the lifestyle of the inhabitants of that Use synonyms
country
, Use synonyms
therefore
if every citizen can easily fulfil their basic demands of eating and living under a perfect roof, the Linking Words
country
will automatically grow. To illustrate Use synonyms
this
, there are topmost Linking Words
western
nations have access to great Capitalize word
Western
technology
, Use synonyms
however
, an ample of beggars can be easily found on roads Linking Words
who are
begging for basic things Verb problem
apply
such
as food, shelter or even clothes. It shows to outsiders how much Linking Words
this
Linking Words
country
needs support Use synonyms
besides
the higher innovations in Linking Words
technology
.
Use synonyms
Linking Words
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
further
, the rate of unemployment is extremely Linking Words
accelrating
day by day in the whole world Correct your spelling
accelerating
due to
the introduction of a tech-savvy culture, Linking Words
consequently
, it contributes Linking Words
the
pressure on Change preposition
to the
government
to support people and it minimises the tax that common citizens pay for the growth of economy budget, Add an article
the government
hence
, the higher spendings on Linking Words
technology
has no worth for regime Use synonyms
instead
it lowers their economy Linking Words
due to
less taxable income of the Linking Words
country
. Use synonyms
For instance
, if the workload of Linking Words
renowned
organization is handled by robotics, it needs to hire a few workers only, which leads to Add an article
the renowned
a renowned
lowering
the job opportunities, which not only affects the local people but Correct article usage
a lowering
also
the government since there will be no taxpayer for contribute to the revenue of the Linking Words
country
.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
technology
is important Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
one-third
proportion of the Add an article
the one-third
a one-third
country
, Use synonyms
this
is eclipsed by the benefits of spending on main requirements by allowing more growth to countries. Linking Words
Therefore
, the higher authorities should make more budget for these things only which assists their economic growth as well.Linking Words
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, which supports a clear structure. However, the essay should strive to use more precise and less repetitive language throughout to improve coherence.
task achievement
The points are generally clear but occasionally lack depth and comprehensive explanation. Expanding on the main ideas with more detailed examples would provide greater insight and strengthen the argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a complete response to the task, discussing both viewpoints and clearly stating a personal opinion.
coherence cohesion
There is a good attempt at structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This helps guide the reader logically through the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.