People believe that arts like painting and music does not directly improve the quality of life, and therefore they think government’s money should be spent on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
some
people
think that some fields like art which inculde
painting and music Correct your spelling
include
does
not directly Change the verb form
do
inhance
the Correct your spelling
enhance
quality
of life
and government
should spend their Correct article usage
the government
money
in
other things.Well, there are Change preposition
on
people
who agree with this
statment
and others who Correct your spelling
statement
are disagree
.
On the one hand, Change the verb form
disagree
people
who are for this
statment
have their own reasons.Correct your spelling
statement
for
example, they say that art is a minor thing that can be replaced because Capitalize word
For
people
from
a long time Change preposition
apply
had
a good Rephrase
ago had
quality
life
without knowing about arts like music and painting.Change preposition
of life
Anothe
example is thatCorrect your spelling
Another
,
they say the government’s Remove the comma
apply
money
can be spent to improve alot
of facilities like Correct your spelling
a lot
hospitles
and Correct your spelling
hospitals
unvirsities
and to feed poor Correct your spelling
universities
people
in
Change preposition
apply
world wide
.
Correct your spelling
worldwide
On the other hand
, there are alot
of Correct your spelling
a lot
people
who against
Add a missing verb
are against
this
idea and have some reasons that are intresting
.First of all,they say that art can improve the Correct your spelling
interesting
quality
of life
by giving some people
jobs and that can dicreased
the number of unemployment.Correct your spelling
decrease
decreased
Moreover
, their reackon
arts Correct your spelling
reaction
reckon
as
Correct your spelling
a
major
thing Add an article
a major
of
Change preposition
in
life
because they can improve the imagination of some civilinces
and Correct your spelling
civilians
inhance
their ability to think and spending Correct your spelling
enhance
money
in
Change preposition
on
this
sort of things
by the government is not Fix the agreement mistake
thing
waste
of Correct article usage
a waste
money
but the obesite
it can lead to a huge financial profit to the country.
Correct your spelling
obesity
obese
To conclude
we can say that there are alot
of Correct your spelling
a lot
people
who agree and disagree with this
statment
.In my opinion, I fully agree with it because I don't see Correct your spelling
statement
arts
as a thing that can be Correct article usage
the arts
usfull
to Correct your spelling
useful
inhance
Correct your spelling
enhance
life
quality
and spending money
to improve other things is more useful to the country in general.Submitted by yousefreyad55 on
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general
Ensure correct grammar and punctuation use throughout the essay. Several sentences are missing spaces after periods and commas. Verbs and nouns should also agree in number.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay. Plan and organize your paragraphs more coherently, ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Avoid repetitive phrases such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand.'
task achievement
Provide more relevant specific examples to support your points more robustly. This will increase the strength of your argument and demonstrate your ability to provide concrete evidence.
task achievement
Use clear and comprehensive ideas by expounding on each point you've made. Provide additional explanation and detail to ensure your argument is well-understood and persuasive.
task achievement
You understood the task and structured the essay with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which addresses the prompt effectively.
task achievement
You attempted to present both sides of the argument, showing consideration for different perspectives.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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