Some people think governments should spend as much money as possible exploring outer space. Others argue they should spend the money for poor people. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The allocation of government expenditures for the purpose of
space
exploration
is a controversial issue debating on whether the governmental budget should be spent to explore space
or not. However
, after a thorough consideration, though space
exploration
could lead to the discovery, it is firmly believed that the expenses spent on space
exploration
should be used to tackle ongoing problems in society.
It is undeniable that discoveries of the facts about outer space
came from exploration
. The trip to outer space
or even other planets could provide more physical information to the scientists. For instance
, the trip to Mars by the robotic landers could provide more informative facts and the discovery of the Mars environment. Nevertheless
, the projects related to outer space
required
a huge amount of Wrong verb form
require
money
which can be used to improve citizen’s
quality of life.
There are plenty of issues faced by the citizens in the country that can be solved Fix the agreement mistake
citizens’
by
Change preposition
with
money
, meaning that the government should allocate their monetary budget for
solving Change preposition
to
the
issues Correct article usage
apply
such
as famine, homelessness and economic recession. It can be clearly seen in the problems of famine which can be solved by providing food for the unprivileged citizens, then
create
a place for farming could be one solution that requires Wrong verb form
creating
money
. By shifting
the Change preposition
Shifting
money
for
Change preposition
from
space
exploration
to solving these issues could enhance people's lives and increase the happiness of people in the
society.
In conclusion, governmental expenses should be used effectively to solve the problems occurring in society rather than spent on exploring Correct article usage
apply
space
even if it could lead to new discoveries.Submitted by pattaraporn.konj on
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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses both views and provides a clear stance on the issue. However, it could benefit from providing more specific examples and depth to fully support the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured and contains both an introduction and conclusion, but a few linking sentences between paragraphs could help improve the flow and cohesion further.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and comprehensive main idea regarding government spending and societal issues.
coherence cohesion
The introduction concisely presents the topic and the conclusion neatly summarizes the key points of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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