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Writing Samples /
Band 5

You use public trasnport and have been facing issues. Write a letter to the public transport autoroties. In your letter include: why public transport is important to you what problem you face suggest what can be done to improve public transport

#trasnport #transport #autoroties #face
Dear Sir , I am writing
this
 letter to inform you that I am not satisfied with your
bus
 service . My name is Roopkamal
kaur
Change the capitalization
Kaur
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, and I commute to my workplace through
bus
 number 365 . In my street, only 365 number
bus
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
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 and go through all areas . I depend only on
this
bus
 because
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
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 of the buses are located far from my house . Nowadays , most of the time when I
about
Add a missing verb
am about
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 to take
bus
Add an article
the bus
a bus
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 in the morning sharp 9 am
then
Correct your spelling
the
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bus
 usually comes late . It has been six days straight
that
Correct word choice
since
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 I
am arriving
Wrong verb form
arrived
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 late at my workplace . Sometimes , buses are full so
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 wait another 10 minutes for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
bus
 . I would like you to take
this
 problem seriously and provide more
bus
 services so that every passenger can get
seat
Add an article
a seat
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 .
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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this
 ,
app
Correct article usage
an app
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 should
be design
Change the verb form
be designed
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 in order to notify passengers . Please contact me if you have any questions . I look forward to your reply. Yours faithfully, Roopkamal Kaur
Submitted by kmlchahal97 on

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task achievement
While your letter conveys the important points, ensure to check for grammatical errors and punctuation, such as changing 'i' to 'I' and using commas correctly. Simplifying sentences can enhance clarity and coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Using cohesive devices like 'therefore,' 'however,' and 'furthermore' can help make the letter flow more smoothly. Ensure each paragraph links logically to the next.
task achievement
The letter includes all required components: the importance of public transport, the problem faced, and suggestions for improvement.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and closing of the letter are appropriate and courteous, suitable for a formal letter of this nature.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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