IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You saw a program on TV recently and found it unreasonable for viewers. Write a letter about its quality and content of the material presented. In tour letter Describe what you did not like Make some suggestions Say what you expect from the TV editors to do for you

#program #tv #viewers #quality #content #tour #suggestions #editors
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Dear Sir/ Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to draw your attention
regarding
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to
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TV
Correct article usage
the TV
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program
 I saw yesterday on
Prime
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the Prime
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 channel. The name of the
program
 is Crime Petrol which is telecast on weekdays. I watch
this
program
everyday
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every day
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 and It
gave
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gives
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 us good advice about how to protect
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves with
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with
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from
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 criminals in
our
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apply
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real life.
However
 , yesterday
this
program
 was about how
child
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children
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do
Verb problem
commit
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crime
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crimes
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 in different
way
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ways
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. It Creates
negative
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a negative
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 impact on youngsters as they
do
Verb problem
are
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 not aware
about
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of
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difference
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the difference
a difference
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of
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between
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write
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right
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 and wrong things. Children try to imitate these things at home
as well as
tgeir
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their
 minds
started
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start
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 to
thinking
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think
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 about adversity. I want
that
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apply
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you
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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to stop telecasting child criminal cases
due to
 safety reasons or else try to make
these kind
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this kind
these kinds
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 of
program
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programs
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 in
positive
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a positive
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 manner. I do not understand how can
Cencership
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Censorship
 Board allow
this
program
 to be
aird
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aired
.I request you to remove
this
program
 and never
shows
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show
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 it in
futu
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future
. I solicit for your co-operation. Yours Faithfully, Tom Smith.
Submitted by kaverigoti2209 on

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task achievement
Ensure that all sentences are complete and clear in their intent. For example, the sentence 'how child do crime in different way.' should be rephrased as 'how children commit crimes in different ways.'
coherence cohesion
Improve logical structuring by starting each paragraph with a topic sentence that clearly explains what the paragraph will be about. For example, reorganize the first concern into a separate paragraph, distinctly mentioning its impact on children.
task achievement
You have effectively communicated your concerns about the program and suggested changes.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing of your letter are appropriately formal, which suits the context well.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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