Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

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Sleep deprivation has
became
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become
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a common disorder
which
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that which
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young generation experienced lately. Unhealthy daily
habit
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habits
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and extreme mental pressure could be the cause of
this
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phenomenon.
This
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essay will discuss what
issue
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issues
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could arise if people continuously
having
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have
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insomnia and what the solutions for that
.
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are.
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There are several health risks following sleep deprivation. The risks
divide
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are divided
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into 2
symptoms
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, common/
short term
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short-term
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symptom
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symptoms
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and severe
one
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ones
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. The
short term
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short-term
show examples
symptom
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symptoms
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include fatigue, headaches, irritability, trouble
focus
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focusing
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, and even slow reaction
time
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. These
symptoms
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would not harm our health directly,
hence
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would affect
moreover
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disturb our daily life greatly.
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Whereas the
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The
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severe
symptoms
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has
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have
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stronger
effect
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effects
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,
such
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as microsleep, trouble speaking clearly, hand
tremor
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tremors
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, reckless behavior, and the most dangerous
is
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apply
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visual and tactile hallucination. The combination of all those
symptoms
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will cloud our thinking and judgment
then
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eventually lead to another serious mental health problem,
for
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example
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example,
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anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and many others.
Therefore
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, it is crucial to keep
tracking
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track
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on
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of
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how much we sleep.
For having
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To have
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enough
time
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to sleep, we have to shift our routine. Abandon unhealthy
late night
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late-night
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activity
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activities
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such
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as gaming or other unnecessary activities. Set a fixed
time
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to sleep at night and
awake
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wake
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in
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apply
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the next morning, the ideal sleeping period for
adult
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an adult
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is around 6 - 8 hours. At the same
time
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,
also
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fix our daily
habit
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habits
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such
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as
eat
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eating
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more
balance
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balanced
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food and
doing exercise
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exercising
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regularly. These habits will build up a strong and peaceful mind to help
we
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us
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sleep in a better quality at night.
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At
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In
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the end, sleep deprivation could be treated by doing
healthy
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a healthy
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daily routine.
Hence
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if the
symptoms
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continue severely
then
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immediately call for
professional's
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a professional's
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help and take medication if needed.
Submitted by annisaseptidwiyanti on

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task achievement
The essay generally addresses the task prompt effectively and provides a complete response. However, try to include more specific examples to better illustrate the points made.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, ensure logical transitions between ideas to improve the overall flow. For example, the transition between short-term and severe symptoms can be made smoother.
coherence cohesion
Some grammatical errors and awkward phrases are present that could be refined for higher clarity. For instance, "Sleep deprivation has became" should be "Sleep deprivation has become," and "help we sleep" should be "help us sleep." These minor corrections can boost readability.
introduction conclusion present
The essay's introduction clearly identifies the problem and sets up the discussion effectively.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion provides a concise summary and offers a solution, which strengthens the essay's cohesiveness.
supported main points
The essay addresses multiple aspects of sleep deprivation, including both the short-term and severe symptoms.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Insomnia
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Sleep disorders
  • Sleep quality
  • Fatigue
  • Exhaustion
  • Restless
  • Restorative sleep
  • REM sleep
  • Circadian rhythm
  • Sleep hygiene
  • Napping
  • Sleep duration
  • Melatonin
  • Sleep-inducing
  • Drowsiness
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Obstructive sleep apnea
  • Snoring
  • Sleepwalking
  • Sleep talking
  • Shift work
  • Sleeping pills
  • Sleep aid
  • Relaxation techniques
  • Meditation
  • Deep breathing
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