When children start school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development than their parent. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
School
is where the formal education for children
begin
, whether it is about formal Change the verb form
begins
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
such
as advancing their intellectual ability or informal subject
including social and communication development. Some people argue that teachers have more impact on the advancement of young students Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
compare
to the family at home. Wrong verb form
compared
This
essay would
discuss to what extent the Wrong verb form
will
school’s
educators Add a missing verb
are reponsible
reponsible
Correct your spelling
responsible
on
enhancing their pupils and what role of the Change preposition
for
parent
in terms of their child’s education.
It is for certain, Fix the agreement mistake
parents
common
families would send their offspring to educational Correct word choice
that common
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
such
as school
when they Fix the agreement mistake
schools
reached
a certain age period. After that, many of the minors would spend their days inside the classroom at Wrong verb form
reach
school
to learn from their teachers. Therefore
it is crucial for teacher
to evolve their academic Add an article
a teacher
the teacher
sylabus
. Correct your spelling
syllabus
School’s
Change noun form
School
lecturer
should teach them about Fix the agreement mistake
lecturers
the
basic knowledge, proper social communication, how to socially blend Correct article usage
apply
to
society and many other. Change preposition
into
Thus
, the role of the teacher
for the children
is very fundamental.
However
, the weight of education do
not fall only to the lecturer at Change the verb form
does
school
. The kid’s guardian
Add a verb
guardian is
guardian was
also
responsible to guide
and Change preposition
for guiding
enhance
the intellectual and social skills of their Wrong verb form
enhancing
offsprings
. Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
Furthermore
, minors usually respect their parents more than the teacher
, thus
it will be easier to strictly rule these young generation
at home. Other than that, Change the determiner
this young generation
these young generations
children
and their guardian
must have a biological affection that Fix the agreement mistake
guardians
school’s
Change noun form
school
educator
do not have with their students. Fix the agreement mistake
educators
Consequently
, the material that
taught by the parent would be more practical and easy to remember by the Correct pronoun usage
apply
children
during their lifetime.
In conclusion, it is true that teacher
hold an important position in educating the young generation. Despite that, the Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
responsible
for advancing the talent of the minors would Replace the word
responsibility
Add a missing verb
be outweighted
outweighted
Correct your spelling
outweighed
to
their parents Change preposition
by
instead
of their school’s
lecturer.Submitted by annisaseptidwiyanti on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy and pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and other grammatical rules to avoid small inaccuracies.
task achievement
Develop each main point more fully with specific and relevant examples to illustrate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure, which helps in understanding the main argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the role of teachers and parents in the education and social development of children, providing a balanced view.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example