When children start school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development than their parent. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#children #school #teachers #influence #development #parent

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School

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is where the formal education for

children

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begin

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begins

show examples

, whether it is about formal

subject

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subjects

show examples

such

Linking Words

as advancing their intellectual ability or informal

subject

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subjects

show examples

including social and communication development. Some people argue that teachers have more impact on the advancement of young students

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

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to the family at home.

This

Linking Words

essay

would

Wrong verb form

will

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discuss to what extent the

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school’s

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educators

Add a missing verb

are reponsible

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reponsible

Correct your spelling

responsible

Change preposition

for

show examples

enhancing their pupils and what role of the

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

show examples

in terms of their child’s education. It is for certain,

common

Correct word choice

that common

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families would send their offspring to educational

facility

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facilities

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such

Linking Words

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school

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schools

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when they

reached

Wrong verb form

reach

show examples

a certain age period. After that, many of the minors would spend their days inside the classroom at

school

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to learn from their teachers.

Therefore

Linking Words

it is crucial for

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teacher

Add an article

a teacher

the teacher

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to evolve their academic

sylabus

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syllabus

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School’s

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School

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lecturer

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lecturers

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should teach them about

the

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apply

show examples

basic knowledge, proper social communication, how to socially blend

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into

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society and many other.

Thus

Linking Words

, the role of the

teacher

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for the

children

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is very fundamental.

However

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, the weight of education

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does

show examples

not fall only to the lecturer at

school

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. The kid’s

guardian

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guardian is

guardian was

show examples

also

Linking Words

responsible

to guide

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for guiding

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and

enhance

Wrong verb form

enhancing

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the intellectual and social skills of their

offsprings

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offspring

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Furthermore

Linking Words

, minors usually respect their parents more than the

teacher

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thus

Linking Words

it will be easier to strictly rule

these young generation

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this young generation

these young generations

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at home. Other than that,

children

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and their

guardian

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guardians

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must have a biological affection that

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school’s

Change noun form

school

show examples

educator

Fix the agreement mistake

educators

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do not have with their students.

Consequently

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, the material

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

taught by the parent would be more practical and easy to remember by the

children

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during their lifetime. In conclusion, it is true that

Use synonyms

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

hold an important position in educating the young generation. Despite that, the

responsible

Replace the word

responsibility

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for advancing the talent of the minors would

Add a missing verb

be outweighted

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outweighted

Correct your spelling

outweighed

Change preposition

show examples

their parents

instead

Linking Words

of their

Use synonyms

school’s

Use synonyms

lecturer.

Submitted by annisaseptidwiyanti on Tue Jul 23 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next.

coherence cohesion

Work on grammatical accuracy and pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and other grammatical rules to avoid small inaccuracies.

task achievement

Develop each main point more fully with specific and relevant examples to illustrate your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure, which helps in understanding the main argument.

task achievement

The essay addresses both the role of teachers and parents in the education and social development of children, providing a balanced view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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When children start school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development than their parent. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children? (Band 8,5)

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In some cultures, childrens are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and there is a lack of a sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

Discipline is an ever increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline is the responsibility of teachers, while other think it is role of parents. Discuss both side and give your opinion.