IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Write a letter to your English-speaking friend. In your letter: explain why you have gone to live in the new city describe the place where you are living invite your friend to come and see you Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.

#friend #city #place #addresses
Dear Gagan, Hope you are doing splendidly! I'm writing
this
 letter to let you know that I moved from Brampton to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Toronto
last
 week. As you know, I was having issues
for
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apply
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reaching late at work because my office is in Toronto. It took me an hour to
reach
Verb problem
get
show examples
 here.
Hence
, I was spending most of
time
Correct pronoun usage
my time
show examples
in
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apply
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travelling
also
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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cost me more.
Also
, I had no
time
 for family, friends and
physcial
Correct your spelling
physical
 activities. That's why I decided to shift to
new
Add an article
a new
the new
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 house.
You
Add an auxiliary verb
Do you
show examples
 want to know how is the new location? Let me explain to you. First of all the transportation is really good. I can catch a bus within 5 minutes which saves my
time
, technically.
Moreover
, there are
tourists
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tourist
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 places which are good to watch.
As well as
,
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apply
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 beaches and parks are
also
 near
to
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apply
show examples
my home. As you know
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 been a hot minute since we catch up
due to
 my job. But
as
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apply
show examples
now I have
time
.
Lets
Replace the word
Let's
Let us
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 make a plan and visit
to
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apply
show examples
me
Change the pronoun
my
show examples
 charm.
W'll
Correct your spelling
We'll
 definitely create good memories. See you soon buddy. Your friend, Waris
Submitted by sunnytalwan065 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider checking for grammatical and typographical errors. For instance, 'physical activities' was misspelled as 'physcial activities.' Ensuring accurate spelling can enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Try to smoothly transition between your points to improve the logical flow. For example, relating the problems of your previous location more clearly to the advantages of your new location would enhance coherence.
task achievement
You've covered all the necessary points: explaining your move, describing your new place, and inviting your friend to visit, which shows a complete response to the task.
task achievement
The tone of your letter is friendly and appropriate for a personal letter, making it engaging and suitable for the intended audience.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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