Your college has a considerable amount of money to spend on improving your school security. You've been asked to write a report for the director saying whether the money should be spent on more security guards or sophosticated equipment.
Allocation of funds for
college
security
improvement
Introduction
In light of the recent allocation of significant funds aimed at enhancing our school's security
, it is imperative to assess the most effective means of utilizing these resources. The two primary options are increasing the number of security
guards
or investing in sophisticated equipment
. This
report aims to evaluate both alternatives to determine the optimal approach.
Advantages
Firstly
, the employment of additional security
guards
provides a visible and immediate deterrent to potential intruders. Their presence can quickly address any incidents and offer a sense of safety to students and staff. On the other hand
, sophisticated security
equipment
, such
as security
cameras, biometric access systems, and alarm systems, offers continuous monitoring and recording capabilities, enhancing overall
surveillance. These technologies can also
cover larger areas more efficiently than human personnel.
Disadvantages
However
, relying heavily on security
guards
can be cost-intensive in the long term due to
salaries, training, and benefits. Furthermore
, human error and limitations in coverage during off-peak hours are notable drawbacks. Conversely
, while
advanced equipment
might have high initial costs, maintenance and potential technological obsolescence pose significant challenges. Moreover
, these systems require technical expertise for operation and upkeep, which could incur additional expenses.
Recommendations
I would therefore
recommend a balanced approach that combines both increased security
personnel and the integration of modern security
technologies. This
hybrid strategy ensures that while
the presence of guards
addresses immediate security
concerns, advanced equipment
offers comprehensive and continuous monitoring. Additionally
, investing in training programs for security
staff to proficiently use new technologies can maximize the effectiveness of our security
measures, ensuring a safe and secure environment for our school community.Submitted by guillo1809 on
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task achievement
The essay could benefit from more specific examples or statistics to support the points made about the advantages and disadvantages of each option.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion even further, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly, such as 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' or 'consequently.'
task achievement
The essay thoroughly addresses the task, providing a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is strong, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported and the arguments are coherent and logically presented.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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