The charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008

The charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts illustrate the proportion of
time
Use synonyms
that working adults spent on various activities in a particular country between 1958 and 2008. In 1958, adults spent the largest portion of their
time
Use synonyms
working (33%), followed closely by sleeping (32%). Socializing with friends and family accounted for 19% of their
time
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
Linking Words
relaxing at home and engaging in other interests or sports comprised 8% and 6% respectively. Commuting to work was the least
time
Use synonyms
-consuming activity, at just 2%. By 2008, there were notable changes. The
time
Use synonyms
spent working increased significantly to 42%, making it the most dominant activity. Sleeping
time
Use synonyms
decreased to 25%, and socializing with friends and family saw a sharp decline to 6%.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
time
Use synonyms
spent relaxing at home rose to 13%, and
time
Use synonyms
dedicated to other interests or sports increased to 8%. Travel to work
also
Linking Words
saw a significant rise, reaching 8%.
Overall
Linking Words
, the data shows a shift towards more
time
Use synonyms
spent working and less
time
Use synonyms
on personal and social activities over the fifty-year period.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: