The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago, and government should stop spending large amount of money on their armed forces . To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Today, we are not witnessing the
much
wars as our Correct quantifier usage
many
granfathers
were years ago and the Correct your spelling
grandfathers
word
is a safer place Correct your spelling
world
in compare
Change preposition
compared
of
a few decades ago. Some people Change preposition
to
beleive
that governments should not spend Correct your spelling
believe
money
on army
Correct article usage
the army
due to
the less invasion
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer invasions
is
happening.In Unnecessary verb
apply
this
essay
I will argue Add a comma
essay,
reasons
for spending Correct article usage
the reasons
money
on armies. In my opinion, some places in the world, like middle-east still requiered
to spend a huge amount of their nation's budget on their Correct your spelling
require
army
and equipment.
Some areas on the Earth are still suffering from non-ended wars that has
started Unnecessary verb
apply
houndred
Correct your spelling
hundreds
years
ago Change preposition
of years
beatween
their Correct your spelling
between
ansesstors
. So, they always have enemies and some other reasons to stay Correct your spelling
ancestors
Correct your spelling
equipped
equiped
and
strong and Correct your spelling
equipped
this
is not going to happen without spending money
for either purchasing guns or producing them.
On the other hand
, even if there is no enemy or threat, having a strong army
is one of the first vital features of a succesful
country. Correct your spelling
successful
Obviusly
, the strength of a country in most Correct your spelling
Obviously
part
of it, Fix the agreement mistake
parts
depend
on the Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
streingth
of their Correct your spelling
strength
army
.
Moreover
, some armies are not just mony-consumer
, but Correct your spelling
money-consumer
also
they are a helpfull
economical hand of their country by selling lots of different guns and war equipment to Correct your spelling
helpful
the
third-world countries .
In Correct article usage
apply
this
essay, I argued the reasons for spending money
on military
and my reason for Add an article
the military
being disagree
with stopping the Change the verb form
disagreeing
arnies
budget.Correct your spelling
armies
Submitted by mohammadmafi6809 on
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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task achievement
You present clear opinions and provide reasoning to support your views, which is a good start to building a strong argument.
task achievement
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Your essay shows awareness of global issues related to the topic, illustrating a good grasp of the subject matter.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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