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Some people prefer to live alone. Others enjoy sharing a house with family or friends. Do the advantages of living with others outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #house #friends
Today, the dilemma of whether to live alone or with a family is controversial. Some people prefer to live with their family,
while
 others would like to live without anyone at all.
While
this
 situation can destroy personal barriers , I believe that there are more advantages
such
 as pecuniary reliability. On the one hand, sharing
residence
Add an article
a residence
the residence
show examples
 with
friends
 or family
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
numerous benefits
such
 as financial stability. A family whose members work and have available funds will have fewer banking difficulties.
For example
, parents are responsible for buying groceries,
while
 their children have to pay bills for water, electricity,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc.
This
 leads to financial balance.
Furthermore
, living with loved ones has a spiritual value. A person can share his feelings, problems and thoughts, knowing that his family will support him. Statistics show that people living in families are less prone to depression than those who live alone.
On the other hand
, living
together with
 other people has its drawbacks. A person's personal boundaries are being destroyed by living with another person.
Additionally
, individuals living under the same roof may have different opinions and annoying habits.
This
 leads to conflicts between them.
For example
, one of
friends
Correct pronoun usage
my friends
show examples
 likes to play the guitar.
However
, the sounds of
this
 instrument get on the nerves of other
friends
. Of course,
friends
 can conflict with each other because of hobbies.
To sum up
, living with family or
friends
 has many advantages ,
such
 as financial stability and emotional significance,
although
 it can be difficult to maintain personal boundaries. In my opinion, there are more benefits than
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 disadvantages
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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coherence cohesion
Try to make your transitions between paragraphs smoother to improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion paragraph is complete. It currently ends abruptly and needs to be finished properly.
task achievement
Expand more on why the personal boundaries issue is significant. Provide clearer examples to strengthen this point further.
task achievement
You have provided relevant specific examples to support your main points. This helps make your arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is structured well with clear paragraphs addressing different aspects of the topic.
task achievement
Your main points are certainly clear and you offer a logical analysis of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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