IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

One of the widely discussed issues today is financial literacy in everyday life.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
One
Use synonyms
 of the widely discussed issues today is financial literacy in everyday life. Now
people
Use synonyms
 are beginning to realize that knowledge of using
money
Use synonyms
 properly should learned in school. Personally, I tend to think that it is a definitely useful skill in
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
 of
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation and all
people
Use synonyms
 in general.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is well known that
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who stepped into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adult life recently, absolutely had no idea how
survive
Add the particle
to survive
show examples
 financially. What I mean here is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 many of us do not know how
money
Use synonyms
 works, and how to manage it rationally so that expenses do not exceed income.
One
Use synonyms
 of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 behind
this
Linking Words
 is that in education there are plenty of unnecessary subjects, and not a single
one
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
money
Add a missing verb
is money
show examples
 discipline. A good case in point is an increase in the creditworthiness of the population.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 overdue debts of individuals as of June 1,
2023
Add a comma
2023,
show examples
 amounted to 823.1 billion tenge.
Linking Words
This
Change the determiner
These
show examples
 numbers talk for themselves.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 do not think that illiteracy should be learned by kids. They think that parents can teach them not worse than school. And they definitely need to do that. I think
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 attitude
on
Change preposition
toward
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 from childhood will form essential habits and skills.
For example
Linking Words
, my mom used to
told
Wrong verb form
tell
show examples
 me to not lend and borrow
money
Use synonyms
. I tend to think
that is
Linking Words
 a great start, but still not enough. In conclusion, summing
this
Linking Words
 up we can say that financial knowledge is
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 subject to learn. We should not underestimate modern children, they grasp a lot very quickly.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion
In the introduction, aim to present the topic with a little more detail and ensure your thesis statement is clear and specific. A more explicit outline of the essay's structure will improve clarity.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant details and examples. Avoid generalizations and focus on clear and well-supported points.
logical structure
Strengthen the logical flow by using transition words and phrases. This will make it easier for readers to follow your argument across paragraphs.
clear comprehensive ideas
Address counterarguments thoroughly, rather than briefly mentioning them. This demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of different perspectives.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate specific statistics or examples to reinforce your points effectively. The current examples are useful, but more detailed explanation will add depth.
complete response
The essay addresses a relevant and important topic that is widely discussed today.
relevant specific examples
You provide personal insights and an example from your own experience, which adds a personal touch to the essay.
introduction conclusion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which contribute to the overall structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: