Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?
We live in an age when a medical system is essential these days.
Nevertheless
, private hospitals charge expensive fees for medical treatments to citizens. Despite its disadvantages, I firmly believe that there will be positive impacts on people
who need private services.
It seems clear that receiving medical care from private hospitals has disadvantages especially related to medical expenditure. Certainly, the primary reason
is medical expenses. Not all citizens can go to non-governmental hospitals because they charge so much money. Individuals like low-income families cannot afford it even though they need treatment. This
can certainly lead to unbalanced life quality among citizens. According to
a recent survey, about 60% of people
answered that they don’t go to independent health facilities due to
the expensive medical expenditure in the USA.
Despite the aforementioned reason
, I stand by the fact that there are several positive impacts on our society. The first reason
is that individuals can get health treatment in an emergency situation. This
is especially true among people
who need immediate check-ups for specific reasons as they need to wait for a long time if they go to public centres. Another reason
is the quality of medical benefits. There are a number of specialists who have better abilities and knowledge in their departments. Recent studies have shown that a growing number of individuals go to specialized clinics using their insurance to get better care in New Zealand.
In conclusion, it is evident that there is a reason
that private clinics have some disadvantages due to
high expenditure. However
, I strongly believe that there are more advantages because people
can get immediate treatment and a better quality of services through private facilities.Submitted by hmhy0326 on
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task achievement
Try to directly address both advantages and disadvantages in a balanced way. Right now, the essay is somewhat one-sided, which might impact the reader's perception of objectivity.
task achievement
Some points could be further developed or clarified. For instance, give specific examples of treatments or scenarios that could benefit from private healthcare to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure every paragraph flows logically from one to the next. The transition between mentioning disadvantages and advantages could be smoother.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly mentions the topic and your stance on it, setting a clear expectation for the reader.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your stance in a concise manner.
logical structure
Each paragraph has a clear main idea and follows a logical structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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