Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion You should write at least 250 words.
Some argue that extreme
sports
should be banned by governments, others
believe that Correct word choice
while others
individuals
should have the freedom to engage in any sport
or activity they choose. For
my perspective, I would argue that Change preposition
From
individuals
have the right to participate in any sport
or activity, and I disagree with the notion of banning dangerous sports
.
First and foremost, those who feel that dangerous sports
, such
as ice skiing, boxing, and skydiving should be banned, the primary concern is the risks of severe injuries and fatalities. These activities can have significant
impact in several sectors, especially in healthcare Add an article
a significant
service
. The burden on the healthcare system, potentially Fix the agreement mistake
services
diminishing
the quality of care provided to patients Wrong verb form
diminishes
due to
limited facilities and staff. However
, once the number of patients decreases, hospitals can manage their service more efficiently.
However
, despite the potential benefits of restricting dangerous sports
, I argue that individuals
should have the freedom to choose
their own choices regarding participation in Verb problem
make
such
activities. Allowing people to engage in these sports
can enhance their mental resilience. For instance
, boxing is the
Correct article usage
a
sport
that helps individuals
develop mental toughness and the ability to handle high-pressure situations, which can be valuable in real-life scenarios such
as self-defense
during a robbery. Change the spelling
self-defence
Furthermore
, extreme sports
can contribute to economic growth. For example
, bullfighting in Spain is a cultural sport
that attracts tourists and boosts the local economy.
In conclusion, although
it is true that banning dangerous sports
may offer some benefits to healthcare, I firmly believe that personal freedom is paramount. The mental resilience gained from participating in these sports
and the economic benefits are significant reasons to allow individuals
the right to choose their own activities.Submitted by Date
on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear and logical structure. Although the essay does cover both viewpoints, the transitions between points could be smoother. You can use more linking phrases to improve the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Expand on some points to provide more comprehensive ideas. For instance, while you mention the economic benefits of extreme sports, a more detailed explanation could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, concisely capturing the main arguments and personal opinion.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed both views and supported your arguments with relevant specific examples.