Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #governments #ban #sports #freedom #activity

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Some argue that extreme

sports

Use synonyms

should be banned by governments,

others

Correct word choice

while others

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believe that

individuals

Use synonyms

should have the freedom to engage in any

sport

Use synonyms

or activity they choose.

For

Change preposition

From

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my perspective, I would argue that

individuals

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have the right to participate in any

sport

Use synonyms

or activity, and I disagree with the notion of banning dangerous

sports

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. First and foremost, those who feel that dangerous

sports

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such

Linking Words

as ice skiing, boxing, and skydiving should be banned, the primary concern is the risks of severe injuries and fatalities. These activities can have

significant

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a significant

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impact in several sectors, especially in healthcare

service

Fix the agreement mistake

services

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. The burden on the healthcare system, potentially

diminishing

Wrong verb form

diminishes

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the quality of care provided to patients

due to

Linking Words

limited facilities and staff.

However

Linking Words

, once the number of patients decreases, hospitals can manage their service more efficiently.

However

Linking Words

, despite the potential benefits of restricting dangerous

sports

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, I argue that

individuals

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should have the freedom to

choose

Verb problem

make

show examples

their own choices regarding participation in

such

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activities. Allowing people to engage in these

sports

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can enhance their mental resilience.

For instance

Linking Words

, boxing is

the

Correct article usage

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sport

Use synonyms

that helps

individuals

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develop mental toughness and the ability to handle high-pressure situations, which can be valuable in real-life scenarios

such

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self-defense

Change the spelling

self-defence

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during a robbery.

Furthermore

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, extreme

sports

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can contribute to economic growth.

For example

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, bullfighting in Spain is a cultural

sport

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that attracts tourists and boosts the local economy. In conclusion,

although

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it is true that banning dangerous

sports

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may offer some benefits to healthcare, I firmly believe that personal freedom is paramount. The mental resilience gained from participating in these

sports

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and the economic benefits are significant reasons to allow

individuals

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the right to choose their own activities.

Submitted by Date on Tue Jul 23 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the essay has a clear and logical structure. Although the essay does cover both viewpoints, the transitions between points could be smoother. You can use more linking phrases to improve the flow of ideas.

task achievement

Expand on some points to provide more comprehensive ideas. For instance, while you mention the economic benefits of extreme sports, a more detailed explanation could strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, concisely capturing the main arguments and personal opinion.

task achievement

You have successfully addressed both views and supported your arguments with relevant specific examples.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

severe injuries
fatalities
base jumping
bull running
extreme skiing
safeguard
well-being
regulating
avoidable harm
healthcare costs
burdening
personal freedom
autonomy
training
equipment
mitigated
personal satisfaction
mental health benefits
resilience
adventure
assess risks
public safety
unnecessary healthcare costs
outright bans
balanced approach
stringent safety standards
mandatory training sessions
adequately informed
safeguarding
public health

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Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In many developingcountries there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this?

Some people believe that pop stars deserve to earn more money than classical music performers. Some disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Today, more and more people are waiting until their thirties to get married and have children. Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?