The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What ca be done to solve this problem?

#production #consumer #goods #results #damage #environment

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In the contemporary era, the high population undeniably influenced the demand rate of consumer goods. To fulfil these needs,

governments

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or manufacturers increase their

production

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however

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this

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method causes damage to the natural environment.

This

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essay will discuss the causes of

this

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problem and present viable solutions to overcome these issues.

To begin

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with, there are several practices that have been implemented

which

Correct word choice

that

show examples

result in the destruction of the natural environment.

Firstly

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, exploitation of the natural environment becomes

land

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for

production

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For example

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, deforestation in Kalimantan to open new

rice

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fields to fulfil

national

Add an article

the national

show examples

high

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

demand for

rice

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. Even though

this

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method has a good aim, it not only creates global warming but

also

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damages the habitat of indigenous flora and fauna.

Furthermore

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, the process of using chemical

pesticides

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results in environmental damage and poses a plethora of risks to human and animal life. Many farmers

use

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these

pesticides

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to maximize their yields but they

use

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Correct pronoun usage

them

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without any proper

measure

Fix the agreement mistake

measures

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. There are several measures that should be taken to solve these problems.

Initially

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Governments

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should stop their programs to open new

land

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production

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, and they could

use

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the existing lands

then

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ensure by regulating the

land

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owners not to change status their

land

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becomes buildings or housing stater. Other steps could be carried out by importing

rice

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from other countries to fulfil the national needs.

In addition

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Governments

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require campaigns using safe and natural

pesticides

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Change preposition

for

show examples

all farmers and

also

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provide these things on the market, so it is easy for farmers to purchase them. In Conclusion, all natural damages caused by the process of

production

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could be

overcomed

Correct your spelling

overcome

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by stopping the programs which make natural forests become

land

Use synonyms

productions

Replace the word

products

show examples

and

allows

Correct subject-verb agreement

allow

show examples

rice

Use synonyms

import.

Then

Linking Words

Governments

Use synonyms

should carry out campaigns to

use

Use synonyms

safe and natural

pesticides

Use synonyms

and

followed

Change the verb form

show examples

by providing adequate these in the market

Submitted by mfmakarim55 on Tue Jul 23 2024

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task achievement

While the essay effectively discusses both causes and solutions, it could benefit from a bit more depth in the explanations and examples. Delving deeper into the specifics of how these causes and solutions impact the environment and society would make the response more robust.

coherence cohesion

The essay is generally well-structured; however, transition between ideas could be smoother. Utilizing more transitional phrases can help improve the flow and readability of the essay.

task achievement

Ensure that recommendations and solutions are clearly and fully developed. The idea of importing rice is introduced but could use further elaboration. Why is this a viable solution, and what are the potential drawbacks?

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay. They provide a concise overview of what the essay will discuss and summarize the key points appropriately.

task achievement

The essay incorporates relevant and specific examples such as deforestation in Kalimantan and the use of chemical pesticides, which help strengthen the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

production
consumer goods
natural environment
damage
causes
overconsumption
demand
environmental regulations
enforcement
natural resources
industrial pollution
waste
inadequate
waste management practices
public awareness
education
sustainable alternatives
stricter environmental laws
recycling
responsible consumption
clean technologies
renewable energy

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The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What ca be done to solve this problem?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries, the amount o f crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes o f crime? How can we deal with those causes?

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Disruptive school children have negative influence on others. students who are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. Do you agree or disagree with this view

Robots and artificial intelligent are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on social?

Some people believe that sport has an important role in society. Others, however, feel that it is nothing more than a leisure activity for some people. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.