Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the Internet and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Human development is a complex interplay of many factors.
Although
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
reach
every Change the verb form
reaches
courner
of Correct your spelling
corner
nation
for education and information even though Add an article
the nation
a nation
students
need to go school
Change preposition
to school
fortheir
Correct your spelling
for their
studies
because schools
not only provide information but also
convey social and behavioural acpect
of life .In the following paragraphs , I intend to put forth my arguments to support my view.
The most important reason behind Correct your spelling
aspects
aspect
this
disaggrement
was the detrimental Correct your spelling
disagreement
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
due to
absence
of socialising Correct article usage
the absence
while
not reaching to
Change preposition
apply
schools
for studies
.However
online studies
are
nowadays are easily reachable even though traditional Unnecessary verb
apply
schools
contibute
to social development by fostering communication and collaboration skills among the Correct your spelling
contribute
student
. Fix the agreement mistake
students
For instance
,During pandemic
Correct article usage
the pandemic
situation
the latest survey on Add a comma
situation,
students
behaviour Change noun form
students'
student's
convey
that online classes Wrong verb form
conveyed
was
preferably benefit adult Unnecessary verb
apply
students
but in case
of young ones in Correct article usage
the case
growing
stage Correct article usage
the growing
showing
Wrong verb form
show
lack
of confidence and communication skills .Correct article usage
a lack
Therfore
, considering long run prespect online Correct your spelling
Therefore
studies
at home was
inadequate for Correct subject-verb agreement
were
yongersters
growth.
Correct your spelling
younger
Secondly
, extracurricular activities in schools
nurture talents and interests outside of academics such
as sports like cricket, football and badminton . Moreover
, subjects like arts and practial
Correct your spelling
practical
apporach
for all subjects was only guided by teachers in Correct your spelling
approach
schools
because schools
provide Add an article
a laboratory
laboratory
for Fix the agreement mistake
laboratories
cemistry
, physics and biology classes.Correct your spelling
chemistry
for
example practising titration Capitalize word
For
experiment
of chemistry was not possible at home Fix the agreement mistake
experiments
tution
classes and children Correct your spelling
tuition
intrested
in sports was unable to practise at home. Correct your spelling
interested
Hence
practising and learning under the guidence
of school teachers Correct your spelling
guidance
students
significantlty
enroll Correct your spelling
significantly
for
sports and other activities like dancing and singing .
In conclusion, Change preposition
on
Schools
are basic
platform for every growing Add an article
a basic
the basic
individuals
. I Change to a singular noun
individual
appose
Correct your spelling
oppose
this
trend of learing
online because behavioural and communication skills are Correct your spelling
learning
important
Add an article
an important
part
of life to grow and socialise with others. Fix the agreement mistake
parts
Therefore
schools
are always necessary
platform for education.Add an article
a necessary
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task achievement
Your essay covers important arguments against the idea of studying exclusively through the internet. However, make sure to elaborate further on each point for a more comprehensive response. Specifically, address both sides of the argument before concluding your stance.
task achievement
The examples used are relevant but could be more specific and detailed to effectively support your main points. Try to include precise data or personal anecdotes where applicable.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words and phrases for better flow between ideas. Additionally, breaking down complex sentences into simpler ones can help improve readability.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets the stage well for the essay, but consider refining it to be more concise. Your conclusion summarizes the arguments effectively but could reiterate the key points more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Use proper grammar, punctuation, and spelling throughout your essay. Pay attention to sentence structures to avoid awkward phrasing. Minor errors in grammar and punctuation have been noted, and reducing these will improve the clarity of your writing.
coherence cohesion
The essay starts with a clear introduction that outlines the main argument, making it easy for the reader to understand the stance from the beginning.
task achievement
You have included relevant points about the importance of social and behavioral aspects of traditional schooling, as well as the role of extracurricular activities in nurturing talents.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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